The person who cradles your head when it is heavy with worry, sadness, loss.. someone you can turn to when it seems like there is nothing left, no hope, no point. Not everyone has a best friend, at least not a true best friend. I've been lucky enough to find a couple in my life, and I personally think that you don't need very many.

I've got a friend.. her name is Kristen. Sometimes I get upset with her, and sometimes I just want to shake her and ask why she thinks like she does, acts so stupidly. Why it is that she hurts herself so..

I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the fact that she has something in her eyes, and there is something in the way she talks to me, the way she is so painfully honest. She dreams like no one I've ever known, and I swear to God she must be certifiably insane but I love her more than I've ever loved any creature that has walked the earth. I don't understand it, and I don't care to try.. she's just one of those people. I'd have to say she's redefined friendship in my eyes, I never thought you could be so close to someone without actually being "in love".

I've had few very good friends in my life, but I'm eternally grateful for the ones I have had. It seems that at the same time I lost one of my best friends, the only one I had for a time, I gained a group of even better ones. This is an interesting concept.

"If you hold on tight to what you think is your thing you may find you're missing all the rest." - Dave Matthews

While I have a girlfriend, can my best friend be female

Would you be comfortable with your girlfriend knowing everything about your relationship with your best friend?

If the answer is no, then that's not a good sign. If your best friend is -- biologically, anyway -- a threat to her status as girlfriend then you need to be absolutely transparent about your intentions and attitudes. If you find your best friend sexually attractive, crush your libido whenever you're near her and don't put yourself in a position where wanting to have your cake and eat it too -- a very human response -- leads to you betraying your girlfriend.

Despite (or because of) your openness, would having such a relationship in the first place feel threatening to your girlfriend?

If so, then you've got a simple decision to make: Your girlfriend, or your best friend? Ask yourself if your girlfriend is being rational, possessive, calm, moody, or oversensitive. Ask yourself if you've been neglecting your girlfriend (in general, or because of time with your best friend). Ask yourself which relationship means more to you. If your girlfriend makes you happier than you've ever been, and there's something about this other friendship that scares her, then you may need to say goodbye to this best friend for a time. Or, if she's being irrationally jealous and should know that she's number one in your book, you may need to say goodbye to her.

What you can't do is lie. What you can't do is hide.

Depending on how serious your romance is, we're talking about trust and building the future here. Part of that process includes sharing significant parts of your life with your Significant Other. Ain't nothing more significant than a best friend.

Yes, gender introduces complications. It may seem unfair that you have to jump through more hoops because your best friend's name is Sally instead of Frank. Girlfriends and boyfriends are always irrational about something. How you choose to deal with it is your business. Just do it honestly.

I'm beginning to wonder where my head stops and your shoulder begins.

You know you have a best friend when...

For all the females out there: You know you have a best friend when...

You go clothes shopping together, and your friend has been trying on clothes. She comes out of the changing room thingy and is wearing the most hideous collection of bits of material, and you say "That does not look good on you", "That makes you look fat", "That makes you look ugly" or some such other bluntly truthful delight, and she is able to agree with you and move on.

She's able to do the same for you.

You can insult her new partner, and she cares for your opinion, but makes up her own mind.

And, of course, vice versa.

You waste six months of your life creating a really great present for her, and find out she's done exactly the same for you.

You "accidentally" forget other committments because you're going to have lunch with her.

Whenever you have a fight, you both automatically grovel within a day to make everything alright again.

You have no secrets, and you trust that she won't use these as weapons later on in a fight.

The first time you meet, you talk like you've known each other forever.

You never fight over which movie to hire. That one with the cute guy, of course.