Something that's become popular, of late, among frat boy types trying to impress girls and one-up other boys. Either they come right out and explain, 'I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body. No, seriously, you guys. I really am,' looking ever so serious and misunderstood, or they allude to it by talking about how much they love going down on girls, or foreplay in general.

This falls under the heading of obnoxious behavior. Not only is it completely transparent - the only apparent purpose being to convince women to sleep with these deluded creatures - it's usually complete and utter bullshit. Five minutes of giving head does not a lesbian make. Most of the time, these boys just want to get a piece of ass and be on their way.

The oddest thing about the whole guys-pretending-to-be-gay-girls thing is that boys who do this tend to exemplify the macho, homophobe stereotype. Favorite example: hearing this from a guy who had just spent an hour talking about the Budweiser Girl he used to date.

Two summers ago my room mates and I screen printed seven different kinds of Tee-Shirts. One of mine said

I'm a
Lesbian

on it. So far I have managed to offend quite a few people, however drunk girls at clubs often fondle my breasts; so its not all that bad.

And whats wrong with wanting to get laid? I find it obnoxious that people harp on other people for trying to get some. It is perfectly healthy, and if women fall for it; oh well. Men fall for the games women play all the time. :P

I must assert that I often times find the methods that men use to get laid pathetic and even annoying, however, I try to take it with a grain of salt; we cannot all be Don Juan. I suppose if a man can actually convince a woman that he is really a woman... she can chalk it up as a learning experience. To even a demi-intelligent woman, this sort of behavior isn't going to get the man very far. The only reason I sport my shirt around town is to make a tacky attempt at my own little brand of humor. It is entirly possible that the men you hear are just trying to joke around a bit; which has never killed anyone. :P

The whole "lesbian trapped in a man's body" thing really irritates me, too. What's the subtext there? It's something like unlike all the rest of the men in the world, I truly care about women. Uh, right. Am I wearing a sign that says "sexism is OK if it's against men instead of women"?

Lately, I've taken a tip from a very butch dyke I met once. I say with as sweet a smile as I can muster, Whenever I hear that, it just makes me want to take an axe and let that poor trapped lesbian out.

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mojoe, I'm not talking about your t-shirt here -- I think it's pretty cool. The difference is that you don't actually expect anyone to believe you.

But if you happen to be a woman, claiming to be a lesbian (most especially, a man-hating lesbian with a big threatening collection of battery operated implements that no human man could ever hope to compete with...) can sometimes help get rid of the particularly persistent "Hey baby you must have a mirror in your jeans because I can see myself in your pants" assholes at bars. Or laundromats, or whatever. ("Hey baby, did you make that shirt? No? Well, you did when you put it on!")

I know what you mean. I hate guys like that too, all the more so because I went through that stage myself. Oh, I was way too subtle to actually say an asshole thing like that. I just hung around with (and silently lusted after) women who were lesbians, got into the music, wore hair short but not in a guy kind of way, read the poetry and the essays, went to the marches... in short, learned a lot, and got into some cool music I still like, but GOD was it for the wrong reasons. I still blush thinking about it. I just hope that nobody I knew at the time caught on to the boundless lameness just below the surface. I mean, why couldn't I just come out and say "Assertive, self-sufficient women fascinate me, and there seems to be a high concentration of them among lesbians. I wish I was as cool as they are."

I think part of it is wanting the one thing you can't have if you're male. A man can have sex with a man or a woman. A man can have sex with a woman who is bisexual and prefers mostly women (though it takes some doing and being a wuss lesbian-wannabe guy doesn't cut it, strangely enough). He can even have gender-reassignment surgery and become a dude who looks like a lady. But he can't be a lesbian, and should just deal with it.