I was at work a couple of days ago and I discovered near my desk one of those plush yellow Pikachu pets. You know the sort - with the pointy ears and the ghoulish sown-on grin. It was then that the idea hit me. This toy was so incredibly useless. Sure, it was a cuddly pet - but that wasn't unique. I realized what I could to do to make Pikachu useful and perhaps save people's lives in the process.
The first thing little Pikachu needed was a complete redesign. Away with that cheap plush material, and in with powerful flame retardants. "Something safe but soft," I murmered to myself as I inspected the toy. After all, when you get right down to it a toy has to be cuddly.
The next step would be to cut open baby Pikachu's stomach and insert a big fat battery. The battery would need to have a low weight, but still hold enough power for the purpose I intended. I also decided to connect the battery to a small circuit in Pikachu's head, whose only purpose would be to make the pet screech "Pika Pika!" when it's stomach was pressed.
So far so good, but now on to the real meat and potatoes (as the old expression goes). I decided that the best way to carry this out would be to insert two small metal bars inside Pikachu's pointy ears, and connect them to the battery in his stomach. When sown back up the Pika-pet looks exactly like it did, but now there is one major difference.
Let's say you're walking down a dark alley, snuggling your face close to your Pika-pet as you both brave the howling winds. Suddenly, from a neighboring garbage can, a head pokes up. It's a dreaded mugger (or perhaps just another Pokemon trainer) and he's headed right for you! With no time to lose you jam your little Pikachu into his face and press the creature's belly as hard as you can...
PIKA PIKA! shrieks your Pika-pet, discharging 50000 volts into your surprised assailant. Gasping for breath he falls back against the alley wall, incapacitated. Stroking your faithful Pika-pet you make your way back home, and recharge him from the wall socket for another day.