he's so far away; today, all I feel are his hands (not) touching me
Yeah, I know: haiku is overused and cliché...but it was the perfect container for the feeling I have right now. You may take away my poetry license now.
Here's a list I've been keeping over the past several years in an attempt to chronicle every type of animal I eat. Yes, I realize a couple sections are disappointingly short, but I am not a hunter and it's hard to find much besides chicken and beef in American restaurants. Most entries in the seafood section were discovered at various sushi restaurants, though a family trip to Hawaii three years ago helped round it out.
Important disclaimer: I am not a bloodthirsty carnivore, nor am I trolling for vegetarians. I had simply noticed that even though we are surrounded by a practically endless assortment of creatures, we seem to rely on chicken, beef, pork, and a small selection of fish for our meat supply. I decided to keep a running list to see how many types of animals a person actually does eat. The experiment may not be valid anymore since I intentionally try new things when I can, but it's interesting nonetheless. These are my results after 3.5 years.
Mammals Antelope Buffalo Caribou Cow (adult and veal) Elk Goat Kangaroo Lamb Pig Whitetail Deer
Fowl Chicken Cornish Game Hen Duck Ostrich Turkey
Reptiles and Amphibians Alligator Frog
Fish, Crustaceans, and Mollusks Alaskan King Crab Anchovies Blue Crab Catfish Clams Cod Conch (cooked and raw) Crawfish Crappie Eel Flounder Flying Fish Roe Grouper Haddock Herring Jellyfish Lobster Mackerel Mah Chong Mahi-Mahi Mussels Octopus (cooked and raw) Oysters (cooked and raw) Pollock Rainbow Trout Red Clam Red Snapper Salmon Roe Salmon (cooked and raw) Sardines Scallops (cooked and raw) Sea Urchin (only raw) Shrimp Snail Softshell Crab Sole (only raw) Squid Stone Crab Sturgeon Swordfish Tilapia Tuna (cooked and raw) Whitefish Yellowtail (only raw)
Edit: I would not recommend raw octopus to anyone under any circumstances. That is all. Thank you.
Get Well Soon.
And Happy Birthday to Christina, as well.
Sorry that one is late.
I've been having the worst trouble with time.
Have you ever had one of those moments where the total absurdity of your current situation just comes straight home to roost?
Because I have. Just now, in fact.
You see, it's Valentine's Day, and, to nobody's great surprise, least of all my own, my entertainment for the evening came to a pair of cans of Bombardier's and wrangling with an essay on the morality of breaking immoral laws. Furthermore, nobody's about in my squat because it's reading week (that's a bit like half term for certain universitary courses) and those that are about are off doing wonderful and intensely hilarious things. And, in a fit of unforgivable clumsiness, I knocked over my tin of beer and the remnants of it spilt all over the floor.
Not to worry, because the dunny's only next door, I'll harvest some bog paper to wipe it up.
So I go and do that, and as I trot back to my room, I notice some bloke from down my corridor's come back with a lady friend and, faces clamped together, are wrestling wit hthe door key to get back into his room. Well, fair enough, 'tis the season to make whoopee, all credit to him.
It's then that the delicious irony of him wrestling to get into his room with a woman at exactly the same moment as me wrestling to get into my room with some Kleenex really hits me. Even though it's not what it looks like.
Ergh.
Oh well, back to Joseph Raz I suppose.
Not that knowing the ins and outs of the theory of the social contract as a moral reason to obey the law will render me any less of a charmless gimboid...
Back to work. In more ways than one.
Well, I'll be back to a full time counseling position starting Monday after holding out for almost six months making sure I got into a situation I felt comfortable with and felt I would be an asset in. And now I'll be back in the thick of it, in a more difficult environment than my last position, but challenges are what this whole business is all about anyway.
I'm getting my legs back. After some experiences that left me feeling like I didn't have any legs to stand on, I'm feeling them again. I've had a lot of help along the way. Sometimes when one person conspires with herself to destroy you, it takes three or more people to help you rebuild. I have three sisters who have been instrumental in my rebuilding process. My elder sister, Alice, has held my hand through much of the process and reminded me of who I am whenever I experienced pangs of doubt. My little sister Kris gave me a place to live for several months and never asked me for more than I could give. My twin sister Jennifer did more than I could ever explain or thank her for. And now I feel like I am turning a very big corner.
And I found out that my five references on my job all said things about me that made my new employer bend over backwards to hire me and bring me in as soon as possible, leading me to believe that maybe I do really leave impressions in people's minds that are outside the ordinary. It truly is amazing that when one person destroys you and takes away what you once knew to be true, it takes an army of other people to help you find it again. They cannot give it back to you, but they can help you find it again.
And in the midst of it all, the Second Queen emerges out of a silence that lasted almost three years. After finally finding the strength to leave an abusive boyfriend she wasted six years being with, she looks to me for help in avoiding going back to him. I can do that, but what is perhaps more important is that I've reminded her in the past that no one does wrong by the women I love or they answer to me. And they have no idea what that means, the men in question anyway. The women usually do. This poor fellow some years ago took to emailing me asking me how he could make her happy and then asked me if I was coming back to New Hampshire because he was certain she would leave him for me. I simply told him I treat the women I love like gold and I would never do wrong by them and that for the answer to his second question he would have to ask her.
And if I could be, who you wanted. If I could be, who you wanted. All the time. All the time.
When it comes to you, Victoria, this has always been my one wish.
My elder sister Alice asked me a question last week. "You know more about women than any man I've ever known, but how are you going to deal with boys in this new job?"
I suppose we will see.
And unfortunately, I was forced to show my face in public twice today. I had to work a shift from 10a until 2p, and I thankfully got a bit of time out the front today. I need all I can get. Anyway.
<flashback>About two years ago, a bloke I'm good friends with (still) moved across here from the Phillippines. A year ago today, he humiliated me. I told him my opinion about February fourteenth 367 days ago, and he still dragged me into it. His tradition is to buy a dozen yellow roses and hand them out to single girls. Last year, he handed out about half-a-dozen of these roses, then decided to dare a bunch of us to give other girls a rose each. I declined, politely. He continued, almost pushing the rose into my hand. I declined, even more politely. He tried to make himself clearer. I got angrier. He said "Do it as a dare." I point-blank refused, and headed for my next class. He blocked the doorway. Loads of others were now more than a little interested. I refused, even more politely than before, and tried to go for the other exit. He ruined a good storm-out by blocking the other exit. Others started yelling "TAKE THE FUCKING ROSE!" I calmly and politely reiterated the fact that I hated the day. He got discouraged. I got out of there.
Seriously, what the fuck is that about? Is he deaf, or just an idiot? Must be idiocy, because every time I saw him for the rest of the day, all he did was sing All You Need Is Love. He's a romantic and a Beatles fan. Fucked if I know what's wrong with him.</flashback>
Enough of that. This year, thankfully, was a bit more tame. He did the same thing at work, only there were fewer people, fewer roses, and zero trouble. Ha! He learned his lesson quick.
It seems like a lot of people in this town are very unwilling to listen to new ideas. I've tried out Poet's Day on them, I've tried telling them that I'm unhappy with my ENTER score, I've preached to them (sometimes at considerable length) about the benefits of Linux, I've tried introducing them to more obscure (and delicious) music; I've tried explaining to them my views on February 14th. Needless to say, not one of these has succeeded. They're all either very closed-minded, or are too up themselves or scared to try new things. It sickens me. It really does.
Which is why I want to move to Melbourne.
</rant>
(The other time I had to show my face in public was at cricket training. Thankfully I was only there about 40 minutes and didn't get much of the junk I usually hear on Feb 14.)
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