I have one basic principle in life, nothing else. No other thing in the whole entire universe matters to me, except:

If you need to pee, find a bathroom
or an equally appropriate place

This especially applies when you are near me. If you are out camping and I am not there, go ahead and pee all over the frickin' forest, i don't give a damn. There are a couple situations I have had to deal with, where peeing near me just doesn't make anything better.

1997 or so, I wanted to go see an IMAX movie near the Museum of Science and Industry so I find a parking lot near by and ask the guy if it will be crowded. He says no. Im ok with that. But I come back three hours later and there is a freakin' Raiders game goin' on or something and I am trapped inside the parking lot with my car for 5 hours! So I walk over to a gas station to get something to drink, because I'm hot from being in my car so long, I come back and some guy has drunkenly peed right next to my car, he then (sloppily) dragged his penis over to the hood of my car and peed all over the front too. Nice and warm.

One summer I was taking a road trip to San Fransisco when I stopped at a KFC/Taco Bell type place. I get my food and go back to my car. But I forgot to go pee myself, so I politely find a restroom and pee in the toilet located inside. I come back out, and some rowdy teenagers have peed on my food and on my car. FIND A BATHROOM.


I think the problem is this: some people just don't quite know how to use a bathroom, and they're too embarrassed to tell anybody so they pee on my car. I have some help for them. Please see Picking Which Urinal to Use. Thankyou