What I did on May 18, 2000: Finally got around to checking out the Big Finish Website, it looks like the one CD that is missing from my set is still available but just that Forbidden Planet didn't have any in stock. Looks like I will just have to get it by mail order. Not so good, I received no less then three pieces of spam so I spent a few minutes at spamcop although if the replies do any good I can't tell. Work today has been rather boring so far. We have had one or two people complaining about problems which have already explained by email which leads me to ask Why don't people read their email?. BluePrintVert called our supplier to see why they still have not picked up the broken CD ROM unit (more on this on May 16, 2000 and May 17, 2000). First they failed to answer despite listening to music for half an hour. Second attempt he was transferred, the phone was picked up but nobody was actually listening to it (or if they were they suddenly took a vow of silence) and we could hear other conversations in the background. Third try he waited on hold for a while then went straight through to the room of voices. 4th (and finally) he waited on hold for another 10 minutes before talking to somebody who promised that it will be collected tomorrow - it had better be! :). Cisco sent us a piece of cardboard that thanks to an elastic band turned into a rigid cube as it was removed from the envelope. It kept us amused for hours! Called up the LEA about the forms, they really really want the Birth Certificate but there is no urgency and I can sent it later. Made some progress on the database, but got an error I haven't cracked yet.
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What I meant to do:
May 17, 2000 | May 18, 2000 | May 19, 2000
Statistics stats wa7 inc l_stats l_wa7 Total Number of Nodes: 519381 1832 1481 517900 1890 Total Number of Users: 14613 43 55 14558 41 Total Number of Links: 1519771 18566 19495 1500276 18411 Current node_id: 555792 1938 1587 554205 1996
Users XP wa7 inc l_XP l_wa7 Pseudo_Intellectual 11027 149 284 10743 127 dem bones 10438 95 116 10322 91 jessicapierce 10284 81 29 10255 90 pukesick 7797 114 102 7695 116 DMan 7583 154 157 7426 153 Saige 7215 144 129 7086 147 Server time: 02:31 Thu May 18 2000 Your Fellow Noders(37)
l_ = last (previous) value inc = increase in stats value wa7 = ((stats + (6 * l_wa7))/7) = weighted average with denominator 7
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Quite possibly what I've been waiting 13 years for. It's still not quite clicked with me..
Next week, my exams start. I've got two unimportant ones in the first week, then a week free. On Tuesday 6th, I have two exams: Pure Maths, which I don't intend to make an effort for, and Technology, which I need to get a B in to get into the university course I've accepted. Then, a day off, and then another maths exam. And finally, on Friday, an easy but unimportant Computing exam.
Et puis... c'est fini.
I will be going into school for various other reasons after the exams finish - to get the yearbook and the ensuing autograph-fest, to work on the web site, and to do some work for this damn engineering thing.
So, despite the fact that I have only two classes today (both of them Technology, which is why I bother), I think I'll try and enjoy myself today, and tomorrow.
All in all, I think it's been worth it - although whether or not these have been the best years of my life remains to be seen.
No further on the text game front today (read today as: since my last sleep cycle), but I did node the entire anthology of Beatrix Potter, my most worthy etext-series noding job yet, in my own humble estimation, in an effort to get more three-to-eight-year-olds on Everything.
Much, much later, while covertly trying to observe a friend stick-fighting-training in the park next to my house, a number of my friends were suckered into playing ground tag on the playground with the band of local ten-year-old tykes who had been previously playing the shoe-chucking game (flip your shoe off at the zenith of a swing and see who gets it the furthest).
The kids won. Some see-sawery was had, then we returned to watch 200 Motels, the movie starring Ringo Starr as the dwarf dressed like Frank Zappa. Wow. And I thought Yellow Submarine was psychadelic.
Thanks to Napster, my MP3 collection is now fully stocked with Spike Jones and songs from Parappa the Rapper. This is good. Someday soon I shall become the LORD OF ESOTERICA!
Okay, then midnight turned over and it really became the date listed in this node's title.
About 3:30 am got antsy and went on a solo night bike ride.
After circling a couple of blocks aimlessly I stumbled across a streetsweeper-truck flushing out the Chinatown lanes. In escape (er, aversion) from its water-pressure predations I was provided a direction, if not a destination. When the hooker yelled "Hey, Sexy!" at me I realized I was riding the wrong way down a one-way street. (Why, what else could that utterance have indicated?) Correcting this navigational error took me past the offices of Small Potatoes and brought me to the inexplicable and obscure Portside Park, where the bird-noises put me at ease and provoked a brief bout of spontaneous spoken word art (about, ironically, a vow of silence, to be performed with the assistance of a tape recorder) when I noticed a homeless person sleeping on a nearby bench. Mortified at the notion that I might have disturbed the rest of one who assuredly had enough other disturbances in their life, I cat-like pedaled away and back into the heart of the city. En route to the bike paths I witnessed my second-ever mud-puddle on-the-street shooting-up episode (the first at Xmas 2 in front of the Theatre E) - a surprisingly low number given that I live a five-minute walk from Canada's injection-drug number one ground zero.
Having been to the north coast of Vancouver's Downtown and not yet ready to pack it in, I followed the routes to the south beaches, passing the Tower of Bauble and a curious artificial contained rainfall in the Plaza of Nations - sprinklers mounted in the tops of the potted trees themselves appearing to water themselves. I passed Europa Lake and caught a good gust of bracing sea air on my way to what I determined would be the furthest my wanderings would take me tonight - Concorde Pacific's Floating Phallus.
(The piece of public art in question is actually named something along the lines of Illuminated Stylus or somesuch nonsense, but its vertical lines and especially the two large spherical buoys at its base make its true nature unmistakable.)
Turning back, I am torn between making small talk with and zipping past a few restless security guards stiffly walking their round but having lived with one not so long ago I am wary of disturbing the zen state of the automaton achieved which makes their mind-numbingly tedious job tolerable, thus I opt for the latter.
Passing the old Expo grounds I ponder what nature of civil disobedience my Critical Mass bike-advocacy comrades will get up to to derail this year's Molson Indy race through the heart of downtown. With such sweet thoughts on my mind the sky melts from bruises to the first hint of flush at dawn's arousal.
I am returned flush myself with inspiration for two exploitative collaborative artworks I've shelved for quite a while and full of expectations for the indeterminate future.
What I hope (er, intend) to accomplish in the remainder of the day (presently 5:16 am):
in our last episode... | p_i-logs | and then, all of a sudden...
From this experience, I've realized that I hate being hungry. It's against every survival instinct known to man (and woman) to willingly progress from a happy, healthy body to an weak, unhappy one when there is nothing psychologically wrong with me. It's frustrating, really. Next week people wil be whispering about me being anorexic or something. Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to go stare at some breakfast. If I'm lucky it'll get scared and run away before I eat it.
This is the first day in a while that I have been in a truly good mood. I don't get to see Erin very often, as we both have very busy schedules, but when I do it seems to change my mood drastically.
Things to do today:
Once again I shamelessly abuse my lack of supervision and the abundant resources of the Federal Government. While my wallet grows fat on your tax dollars.
I am searching for information put out by the National Center for Alternative Medicine, in an attempt to uncripple myself.
This morning I found my Lucky Monkey in my old bedroom at my parents' house. I pulled him out of a dresser drawer. When he saw me, he began to cry but his tear-ducts were choked with dust. I had to assure him that I didn't abandon him for a new monkey-love. Then he insisted on riding the bus to work with me. He made faces and obscene gestures at the other passengers and they stared at me, cock-eyed.
The spider mites cover the stone-work in front of the Library. The steps are stained red with their juices. All over my pants, too.
The cardigan-drones buzz and click their fingers, and the heels of their sensible shoes.
Boredom exhausts me, but I sit quietly, twitching, carpet-staring, trading insults with imaginary friends...
Last night was Number One Son's graduation from High School. So proud of him! I don't know how many times he told me he loved me. He said he was going "Wherever the night takes him." Saw so many kids all grown up now. Knew the names called, but I couldn't recognize the kids they had changed so much! "Jonathon K________" I recalled him chewing nervously on the neckline of his t-shirt the first week of Kindergarten. "Beau C_______" husband yawns, " That name sounds familiar." me, He was the kid who smashed the mailbox with a bat and his parents made him buy us a new one." "Ryan W_______, Gold Diploma," Yay!! I cheer and remember him studying late nights with my son......forever having to borrow a math book because he forgot his at school.
Teacher's, (friends) there all asking 'How are you doing?'......I'm good ! I tell them. The pastor and his wife are there looking for him. It's a mad scramble of grabbing up and hugging for that one last time. His third grade teacher tells me that he's 'So handsome it nearly took her breath away!' My son's cocky response.....what makes you think that would surprise me? It was fun! On his card I write:
What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
My mother-in-law tells me I'm looking good, much better than when she saw me last, but so fragile she says.....funny, I think how that word keeps coming up.
No Words Necessary
Even before a word is on my tongue, O Lord, you know it completely. - Psalm 139:4 (NRSV) The time I spend in God's presence each day builds a relationship of wordless communication. Simply being with God is enough to assure me of so close a relationship that nothing can ever break it.
Devotion
Got to talk to Zach again. He says he's training his baby sister (Olivia, he calls her "Livvy") to like all his favorite foods, so when she gets big enough, her dinner requests will be the same as his. He sneaks her mac and cheese when mom turns her back. He listens to opera while he does his homework, and loves it. He was in an awful Hawaiian shirt and traffic-cone orange shorts and wrestled Patrick H. to the ground, both of them hollering and laughing.
An hour walking in the park. Getting hot, not too much more of this before summer won't let up. A stranger asked me to join a game of baseball; I smiled and shook my head no; he waved and ran off.
1. A page I copied from Amy Hempel's Tumble Home, for edebroux, but haven't mailed it yet. It's important.
2. I read twenty pages of John Welter's Night of the Avenging Blowfish and have to stop because it's so good I want it to last longer. I've had it for a year and haven't read it because of the lame title, because I am stupid. John Welter is someone who knows what it is to have a wave of chemicals flood you, swamp you, push out the things you need to get through a day without falling into pieces. He knows what it's like to lose your grip. He has beautiful words.
3. NPR is always a risk and today is a good one. A man is talking calmly and quietly. I let him talk to me about communion and community and the three basic pieces of advice offered by all religions. He talks about learning to listen to "the wisest and most compassionate people who have ever lived," and to ourselves. He says that atheism is often just childishness if it can be reduced to an inability to find wonder and delight. He talks about a place we can all reach inside ourselves where we are at home, calm, right. Here is a meditation he suggests:
Lord, I'm yours. I don't have the foggiest ideas of what your mysteries are. Please guide me. I submit myself.
Five minutes of his voice and I still don't know his name but I am crying and scrabbling for a pen in traffic and I know I will be buying his book (please have a book, I can't stop thinking, and he does). It's a Meaningful Life is the book. The man's name is Bo Lozoff. I think I will forgive him that. I might even like it.
I paint my nails green. I have some pie. I watch Blind Date and am glad I don't have to have dinner with anyone terrible. I think good thoughts and go to bed.
Back to work for the first day this summer. I had been rather apprehensive about it, since so much has changed since I left last August. Things were cool though. There's a few new people working there, including this one girl-- Muy Bonita. Work consisted of setting up a new Win98 box*, and installing MS Office and stuff.
*They're all running Windows 98, unfortunately. I don't even have NT to play around with anymore. I take comfort that our mail server is running Linux, though.
More of the same at work; I'm now writing some SMX code to allow only those visitors to our site who don't have a login cookie to access a special offer, along with some other stuff. Whee.
After work, I head out to BW-3 with some friends for an evening of 25 cent wings and electronic trivia games. It's always fun hanging out with Eric and Christine; Eric and I annoy Christine by talking about Achaea, this MUD that we play, and they annoy me by being cute, thus drawing attention to the fact that I'm terminally single. Fortunately, we stopped at T. J. Maxx on the way over, and convinced Melissa to come by after she finished working. An older (and slightly wasted) friend of Eric's came by and conversed with us for a while. Very amusing. Afterward, we went to Malley's. All in all, a good day.
Side note: I learned today that Nikki's engaged. This is something of a shocker, since she's only 2 years older than I am. She'll be the first person in my age group that I know well to get married. I'm happy for her, of course, but I feel old.
Work continues. I'm pretty much done now, and it's all very slick. Quite a shocker. Usually these things turn out to be much harder than I initially expect.
Go to the Band concert at my former high school. Pretty nifty. Some nostalgia, especially when the Jazz Band played.
I hang around and say "hi" to people afterward, though Jason blew me off when I tried to talk to him. We used to not get along, but I thought things had improved senior year. I start to wonder if perhaps he was just being nice to me because of my friendship with his (now-ex) girlfriend Carey. *sigh*. I haven't talked to Carey in forever, either.
Now I'm standing with Eric, Christine, Nikki, and Melissa. I'm the youngest of that group, a year behind Christine, and 2 behind the others. And yet, I look around me, and see the crowds of high schoolers, and I feel too young and too old at the same time.
The crowds disperse, and I talk Eric into coming up to Lakeland with me to catch the end of the Rotary Awards. Unfortunately, we're too late. We catch the RHS contingent, along with some fellow alumni, on their way out. They head over to the local Burger King to hang out and commiserate over not winning any awards this year, but Eric and I have had enough nostalgia for one night, and head home.
At least I remembered to tape Buffy and Angel this week. I rewind the tape, and press play, knowing full well that I really ought to be heading to bed... Good episodes, though.
I have a bit of trouble getting out of bed this morning, for obvious reasons, and I'm an hour late to work. Nobody cares, though. I can pretty much come and go as I please.
My boss changes my assignment, making things much tougher, but then he buys us pizza, so the day's not a total loss.
By now, I've installed vim, lynx, Mozilla, and the Borland version of grep on my machine. I wonder if I can seriptitiously install Linux while I'm at it....
Another band concert tonight, this time the Junior High. I'm less enthusiastic about this one, and I'm only going because my sister's in it. It turns out to be all right though.
To be continued on Friday, when our hero goes to see the one act plays, among other adventures.
I showed up at the local Salvation Army store at a few minutes after 5, and there was a small crowd of people there waiting for the doors to open. Inside they had clothes and books and furniture (25% off all furniture this week, y'all), but I was there to scrounge for computer stuff. I caved in and bought a PS/2 (it was under a buck! it was made by "IBM de Mexico"! it has a Property of NASA barcode!)
There was a lanky guy, gone a bit grey, with not much more than ten teeth in his head, who was telling people about stuff in the store. Seeing me check out the machines, he commented to one of the other coustomens, "He sure looks like he knows how to get that thing running." He walked over to me with a big, warm smile on his face.
"You sure look like you know what to look for."
"Yep."
"What's that thing got in it, a 30meg hard drive?"
"Twenty." I poked around to see the proceesor. "I really want a 386, though."
"You want one? I got two piles of them this high." Motioned with hands.
"Yeah?"
"Sure. You come by here next Thursday, and I'll have one for you for $15. I'll make sure it runs real well."
"Sure."
"Heck, you want two of 'em?"
I laughed. "No, thank you." Pause. "Be here Thursday, then?"
"O.K."
If you don't get it, go out, procreate, and come see me in a couple of years. When they're babies, even their sour-milk-smelling vomit is cute. "Look, he puked on the rug!" "I know, isn't he cute?"
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