From my past life as a pizza delivery driver, I gained two things: I now hate pizza, and I have lots of weird stories about my misadventures. I'll try to get as many of them as I can up here (statute of limitations providing, of course.)

Episode I That time I was almost killed by scary cult children
Episode II Pepperoni and pathos
Episode III Sun Tzu in residential Canton Township
Episode IV The Saran Wrap Dominatrix and Her Cellophane Bondage Slave
Episode V White Trash Encryption Algorithm
Episode VI It was all I could do not to cry
Episode VII The amazing true story of how I became the sixth Backstreet Boy
Episode VIII I could take this in doses large enough to kill