The doorbell rang. Mark shouted from the kitchen "Honey, can you get the door?"
A few seconds later, he heard the door latch click, followed by various greetings. A quick glance at the stove to reassure himself that nothing would burn and he went to the small vestibule of their small apartment. Tory was already taking the coats from the guests and bringing them in the bedroom. Mark smiled and shook hand with Paul, kissed Janice on the cheeks and ushered them in the living room before going back to the kitchen. "God, it's almost impossible to park in this area," said Paul.
From the bedroom Tory replied, "They should start demolishing that old supermarket down the street pretty soon and make a parking lot."
"Smells good, what are we trying tonight?" asked Janice.
"Tournedos of beef in a béarnaise sauce, grilled asparagus on a nice risotto and a chocolate pie for dessert," answered Tory.
Paul's eyes widened. He exclaimed, "Whoa! How did you get the pie crust? We've been looking for some everywhere."
"Ah, the chef's secret! He didn't even tell me."

Mark came in the living room with four glasses and a bottle of wine. He opened it and flicked the cork to the small kitten sleeping on the sofa.
"It should be ready in five minutes, you guys can sit at the table."
Tory served the wine and handed the glasses around. "Here's to home cooking!" she shouted.
"To food!" said Mark.
"To chocolate pies!" answered Janice.
"To pricey pie crust!" said Paul.
They all clanged their glasses together and began to sit at the table, while Mark went to fetch the meal.

***

The four of them were eating silently, chewing soundlessly and masticating taciturnly. Some had their eyes closed. They were all clearly enjoying the good food and excellent wine. It was a special occasion and everybody was trying to make it last for as long as possible. The four friends were about halfway through the supper when a loud crashing noise was suddenly heard coming from the door. Terror immediately appeared in their eyes, Mark dropped his fork. They froze in unison while a terrible rumble made its way in the living room. A rumble made by a dozen pairs of official Anti-Riot Squad shiny boots stomping in the vestibule. Men in dark blue uniforms, with rifles raised to head-level, were eyeing carefully the two couples. Weirdly, Mark's first thought was "I'm sure they smell everything, even through their masks."

It was impossible to understand how they had learned about their communal meal. Nobody else knew about it. It couldn't be the guy who sold Mark the pie crust - he was an old high school friend. He would probably never know. They were caught; the four of them were already being handcuffed and pushed outside the apartment, at the 35th floor of a boring grey building.

***

Mark learned through the state-appointed lawyer that Janice had signed a statement putting all the blame on him. He had bought the dough, the beef and the asparagus. He had diced the shallots and sautéed the mushrooms. He didn't know about the others but they would most likely all sign similar documents.
"Well, this will not be easy to get you out of here," stated the lawyer with a sigh. "All these new Cooking Patents laws are not forgiving."
"What... What will happen then?" whispered Mark.
"The Mincing Brigade went through your entire kitchen after the police left. They've disassembled everything you've cooked in order to properly link the correct patents."
"How did they know? Who told them I was cooking?"
The lawyer wiped his eyebrows. "Your neighbor, Mrs. Grafter. She smelled the béarnaise sauce in the hall and immediately called the cops."
Hearing the words, Mark remembered the sauce, its complex smell...
"I know it's boring but it is my duty to give you the complete list of all the patent breaches you have caused," said the lawyer. He cleared his throat and handed a sheet to Mark.

PATENT                    PATENT HOLDER            ROYALTIES

Tournedos of beef         Mario Batali Estate      $2,500
Sliced mushrooms          Emeril Lagasse Trust     $800
Mushroom sauce            Emeril Lagasse Trust     $1,300
Diced shallots            Paul Bocuse Family       $9,000
Béarnaise sauce           S.A. Taillevent          $28,430
Whisked egg yolks         Mcdonald's               $11,000
Chopped asparagus         James Beard Legacy       $500
Grilled asparagus         James Beard Legacy       $700
Chopped estragon          Paul Bocuse Family       $1,000
Risotto                   Arborio Inc.             $32,540
Pie crust                 McCain Foods Limited     $3,500
Chocolate pie             McCain Foods Limited     $12,900

                                           Total:  $104,170 * 4 = $416,680

Mark crumbled the list and threw it in the corner of the room. He didn't have any money anyway. He'd better get used to his cell. The world got weird, he thought, since cooking became patentable. Mark imagined spending the next five to ten years here, eating scrambled eggs every day since it was the only public domain meal left. The world got weird indeed...