UshdfgakjasghHatesYouQuest 2008

I encountered a large problem in creating this quest: I'm neither an editor nor a god. So unfortunately, without the participation of some unnamed higher-up (please participate, o benevolent and/or malevolent gods), there will be no trinkets or XP bonuses for participating in this quest.

What I will offer, however, is humiliation. For every submission to the quest, I will mercilessly tear apart the noder and his or her respective writeup in every way I can think of, with variable amounts of gratutious profanity, questionable grammar and personal threats. Trust me, I'll be merciless. I'll go after your family, your pets, even your stupid haircut. Yeah, I'm talking about you, DTal. What I love most about this quest is that it affords me to opportunity to not only express my unwavering hatred for noders, but to do it entirely at their consent, leaving no lasting ire. Except with DTal. God, I fucking hate DTal.

This quest differs from HateQuest in that the writeups can be on any topic (including hatred, I suppose), but the point isn't to collectively express hatred: rather, the point is to collectively receive it.

Writeups will be accepted contingent on my approval, in turn contingent on completely unpredictable criteria. This may or may not include:

• Quality of the node
• Quality of the noder
• How much I enjoyed my last meal
• Man, I really hate DTal
• You do actually need to have written the writeup for the quest, and must note that at the bottom of your writeup: otherwise, without administrative approval, this quest will die quickly. I'll be accepting no more old entries after Heisenberg's.

Submissions:

First off, what kind of stupid name is BookReader?! You asshole! How are you supposed to differentiate yourself from everybody else when your name only describes an attribute of yourself that everyone else on this site has!?! you're some sort of asshole! Jerk!

The second problem with your writeup is the stupid content. If I cared about Aphids and Chives and your other jerk-face themed plants and/or animals, I would be outside instead of hunched up in front of a computer! But it's winter, do you really want me to go outside, huh, jerk?!?! Last night I drove around with the window open and I was freezing! Asshole! What were you thinking!?

Your backyard is L shaped? Really? What do you want, a fucking cookie? You fucking elitist jerk! Oh, I ought to teach you a lesson! Run you over with my car?!?!

If chives are easy to grow why aren't my chive seeds growing?! Huh?!? I'm looking at them right now and they're just sitting there! Why don't you go sing some more songs in the chatterbox, you pansy?!?!?!? Let me tell you, BookReader (MORE LIKE STUPID-READER HAHA), songs contain a lot more than just two tied eighth notes! Often they contain quarter notes and even half and whole notes! !?!?!??! Sometimes there are drones lasting through the whole song?!?! Asshole?

What you are saying that I misunderstood the purpose of APHIDS?!?! The most fundamental of insects?!? Maybe you don't properly understand the purpose of APHIDS?!?! you fucking dynamo?!?! I have to say "JERK READER" I've only seen one photo of you and you had on some stupid vest!! You fucking polarization!?!??!

I could not help but notice you describe aphids as "MUTANT SPACE BREASTS" LOLOL I don't know what you are gi etting at but I'm sure it helps contribute to your fat face you stupid jerk?!?! I hope you die!!!!!

I'm glad you are so COMMITTED TO THE ENVIRONMENT AND ITS INTEGRITY but if you are so concerned with the ENVIRONMENT AND ITS INTEGRITY than clearly you would not be so stupid!!!! I don't think you understand what acetone is?!?! Clearly you have no idea what constitutes beauty in a godless world?!? I don't really understand how aphids can be pregnant when they're unborn themselves??! I'm slightly afraid of things which I don't understand but this doesn't excuse you from being a total bitch!?!?

ALSO I find troublesome your use of the word "vivisection" clearly you are just SAYING it because you heard it in that one Mars Volta song you fucking motherfucker! I ought to shove my hand down your throat and rip out your fucking esophagus!?!?

WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT APHIDS YOU ASSHOLE

Terry Pratchett is a feminist - Heisenberg

First of all, what type of bullshit are you trying to pull by submitting this You fucking twat! i ought to sodomize you with a broomstick!??! This fucking writeup is more than 4 years old you fucking sneak You didn't even write at the bottom that it was made for my quest!??! Do you think you can do whatever the fuck you want?! Huh?! Did I look like a bitch??

Your opinions are stupid. I'm not going to go into that yet. First I'm going to tell you everything that's wrong with your stupid fucking handle. Heisenberg?!? Seriously, what the fuck is that supposed to mean!?! Is it like the Hindenberg?!?! Because you're a lot like the fucking Hindenberg: full of hydrogen and FAT LOLOL!??! Yeah, I bet you'd find something like that funny. You fucking twat.

I don't really know who Terry Pratchett is but I bet he sucks nearly as much as you LOLOL and what kind of cause is FEMINISM for a man LOL ITS LIKE YOU DONT UNDESRTAND WHAT IS FEMINISM?!??

Also I'm sick of your fucking voice on the podcast. You sound like you are choking on too many cakes, you fat piece of shit. I bet you and BookReader are in some LARDASS CLUB LOL. Maybe you should get your fucking life together, you fucking pig. Also it sounded like you were making gay jokes at IWhoSawTheFace on the podcast, you FUCKING HOMOPHOBE. I OUGHT TO SHOVE A FUCKING PAIR OF SCISSORS IN YOUR ABDOMEN AND RIP OUT YOUR FUCKING SPINE, YOU ASSHOLE. YOU'RE EVERYTHING THAT'S FUCKING WRONG WITH HUMANITY AND E2 AND I FUCKING HATE YOU.

Your writeup is tiring to read, has way too many completely unrelated points and has little relevance or significance. You wasted my fucking time reading it. I could have been doing any number of great things like reading other nodes or watching TV, but no, you just had to send me that huge pile of shit. I haven't read any of these books either so how the fuck am I supposed to know why are you writing about them?!?! Maybe you should stop talking so much about your fucking Saab convertible and focus on what's really important?? LOL I bet that cat on your homenode is really you LOLOL because that's what German people look like

I couldn't help but notice you bragging about your position as Content Editor lol BECAUSE OF HALLUCINOGEN USE?!?!? Clearly you are unfit for command and thus I relieve you of your command You fucking bitch!!!!! ?? Content editor more like CUNT EDITOR LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL everybody knows that Bitches Brew was the best Miles Davis but you didn't put it on your list of favorite albums you asshole even though it was a landmark in jazz fusion

Naked Dude at the Door in a Snowstorm - shaogo

i read this whole story expecting some sort of dramatic conclusion or insight into humanity but the whole thing is "I drove along the road on a winter night picking up drunk, naked teenagers." Shaogo you fuckwit how about I take that FUCKING PONYTAIL OF YOURS AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT UNTIL YOU LEARN ABOUT THE PROPER USE OF LITERARY TECHNIQUES THAT ONE RIGHT THERE WAS SYNECDOCHE FOR VIOLENCE?!LOL?!?

LOSE SOME FUCKING WEIGHT AND THAT'S A SIMLE FOR LARDASS LOLOLOL

Now, I don't know if any of you have ever met shaogo or seen a picture of him, but he looks and speaks alarming like the man in this commercial, to the point where I'm nearly convinced it's him was??. Im not exaggerating lol.... If I'm right WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!? THIS COMMERCIAL IS THE MOST TERRIFYING FUCKING THING I'VE EVER SEEN AND I WOULDN'T STEP FOOT IN YOUR FUCKING FURNITURE STORE LOLOLOLOLOL !?!?!? IF IT WAS THE LAST ONE ON EARTH AND THE GROUND WAS COVERED IN LIONS THAT DIDN'T HAVE THE ABILITY TO CLIMB FURNITURE??. YOU TWAT. !??! AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DEAL WITH THAT GIANT COP MANNEQUIN?!? FUCK YOU FUCKING DANGEROUS LUNATIC I'M GOING TAKE THAT GIANT BOTTLE OF WINE AND JAM IT IN YOUR FUCKING THROAT N THEN MAYBE YOU WILL BE IN NEED OF A POLICE OFFICER AND/OR LION LOLOL (to stop the bleeding) YOU FUCKING TRICOLON

Really? You own a Chinese restaurant and all your employees live in the same house as you? You know what that sounds like? FUCKING DAVID KORESH YOU FUCKING TERRIFYING PSYCHOPATH. PLEASE DO NOT CONVINCE ME THAT A STANDOFF WITH THE ATF IS THE ONLY WAY TO SALVATION OLOL AND THEN YOU WIL BE SAMLPED IN BOREDS OF CANADA???!!!. YOU ARE FUCKING SCARY AND YOU SPIT A LOT WHEN U TALK LOL. I DON'T WANT TO SET FOOT NEAR YOU, YOUR RESTAURANT, OR ANY OF YOUR BRAINWASHED "SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST" EMPLOYEE IN FACT U ARE SO DYUMB THAT U CANNOT PASS THAT TEST WHERE ANIMALSL OOK IN THE MIRROR AND RECOGNIZE THEMSELVES LOLOLOL.

P.P.S shaogo ur creepy jerk

How I Swallowed The Seas - Mortuorum Dialogi

Oh really? You like scuba diving, you little prick? Well let me tell you something about scuba diving. I'M GOING TO REPRESSURIZE YOUR FACE WITH A FUCKING TIRE IRON AND TEAR OUT YOUR GODDAMN EYES AND PISS ON THEM. loll. Oh look at you you can use alliteration lol "sputtering scooters" NOW TRY TO HAVE SOME SUBTLETY YOU FUCKING ASSWIPE LET ME TELL YOU SMOETHING ABOUT SUBTLETY im going to SNEAK INTO YOUR HOUSE WHILE YOU'RE SLEEPING AND BE REAL QUIET AND THEN I'M GOING TO TIE YOU TO THE BED AND RIP OUT YOUR TEETH ONE BY ONE AND THEN RIP OFF YOUR FUCKING LEGS HOW'S THAT FOR SUBTLETY LOL.

But while we're on the subject let's talk about your name lol now when I was in school we learn about foreshadowing in books LOL I think I failed that test but my teacher was stupid but anyway the funny thing about your username is that its foreshadowing BECAUSE I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU AND THEN "DIALOGI" ABOUTI T TO MY FRIENDS LOLOLOLOLOL!>?! But I digress.

Now let's talk about using this as your college application for a while. FUCK YOU AND UR APPLICATION. You bear no relation to Poseidon LOLOL HOW ABOUT I SHOVE A FUNNEL IN YOUR THROAT OVER AND OVER TILL ITS BLEEDING THAN POUR IN SEA WATER LOLOL N U WILL BE. I hope you get SCUBA certification and drown you piece of shit. i hope you get a bachelors of the arts in marine research and then get raped by a shark. LOLOL!!!!!!

The Monro-Kellie Doctrine - fallensparks

clearly you have little understanding the scientific method let's have a demonstration

I RIP OUT YOUR GODDAMN EYEBALLS AND JAM FORKS IN THE SOCKETS HOW IS THAT FOR RELIEVING INTRACRANIAL PRESSURE

fcuking idiot if PV=nRT is intracranial pressure relieved when you lower the temperature??/ so what if i JAME YOU IN THE FREEZER AFTER STABBING YOU WHICH I HAVE TO DO FIRST ANYWAY