Today, I spotted a news item where a woman visiting a Knoxville, Tennessee McDonald's restaurant dropped a pickle slice from her hamburger onto her chin, causing "a second-degree burn that left a permanent scar." She's suing the restaurant for $125,000 for selling her "an allegedly dangerous and defective product."

No doubt she'll get the money; there's precedent, after all. In 1994 an Albequerque woman successfully sued a McDonald's for serving her very hot coffee which she held between her legs, tried to open the cap, and then spilled the coffee all over her lap, causing third-degree burns.

"America: land where you are never expected to suffer for your own idiocy." If ever there was a Witless Protection Program in the United States, it's right there in the civil court system.