Remembering the Zendiks
Yesterday I dug around the net for Zendik stuff and found that Wulf died in 1999. It saddened me although I knew in the 90's that he was old, and then I somehow knew that he was ill. What I didn't know was that the Farm had been moved to North Carolina, and that he died there. Wonder why they left Austin?
So I poked around their website for quite some time and read Arol's journal entries. She writes as I do, stream of consciousness, from the heart, sharing the pain, sorrow, happiness, joy. She misses Wulf incredibly as I knew she would. She now heads the tribe, and evidently major changes have occurred, such as monogamy rather than polyamoury (I knew this was Wulf's deal all along). Some long-time Zendiks left as a result, and of course those folks were men. Hah! But she's the reining queen and I am sure since she's all that's left, and the only direct link to Wulf, that her word is gold. They look to her, I'm sure, for everything. And I suppose she's grooming Fawn (her daughter) for the throne.
Downloaded pictures and writings, what Wulf and Arol wrote, as well as what others said. Remembered the Zendik ways and Wulf's rantings on his cable access show. Watching Arol and Wulf, listening to his many preachings and words...some were right on and very good. Late nights, especially through my college years, I sat absorbing their renegade, counterculture ideas. I loved them. They were so Austin, so THEM, unafraid to speak what they felt and to buck the damaged system of America. I wrote Arol once, and called another time. I really wanted to visit the farm while the girls were little and we lived in Austin but I never got that chance. Perhaps someday - now Wulf's gone and that whole era in which he lived (and others like him) seems to be dying out.
Maybe that's why I love the sixties and free love and living from your heart...challenging tainted, old beliefs and poisoned people. My heart is like yours, Wulf, only I have not found my golden egg and how to unplug. Free and wild and uninhibited, that's who I am beneath the surface. Not caring about social convetions and preconceptions. Racism, prejudice, gender-identity sickness, whatever...we're all one huge, living, breathing organism which extends far beyond this planet and out into the entire universe. There is so much we don't know, cannot understand and it is taking place everywhere, every moment. So much.
Let there be light, let us all walk within the light. I don't know how we got here or what God is but I have a few suspicions which are definitely not the standard dogma preached in modern churches and temples.
I, too, am a renegade although the years have worn me down and I trust less the system while I work more within a beast that sucks me dry. Drones we are, and I hate it. But how to escape? Wulf, you can do more good now than you ever did as a human...take care of and inspire us.
Written Sunday, August 18, 2002