You know, I really
love strong,
intelligent women. But
they don't love me back, except as
friends. The women I did
date turned out to be
needy,
insecure, and worst of all... the
interests and
ideals I thought we shared were just
wishful thinking on my part. Somehow their
aspirations seem to end up revolving around
mundane domestic shit.
So now, I'm
trying a new tack. I'm admitting to myself that there are many, many guys who love
geeky women, and therefore
geekettes have their pick of any guy they want (on this scene at any rate... who cares about the
Normal People anyway?). Secondly, I'm admitting to myself that I just don't have whatever
mysterious qualities it is that
women find
attractive... that would explain why I only end up with the
lame ones-- they
settle for me. Therefore, when I'm
friends with a
woman and find myself
attracted to her, I'm not really choosing a chance at a
relationship instead of a
friendship. A relationship is not an option
to begin with. What I'm doing by trying to get her to go out with me is
queering up a perfectly good friendship.
So, I've resolved:
- Not to waste time on women (no matter how attractive) if they fail this simple test: "Would I still hang out with her if she was a guy?".
- Not to sabotage platonic relationships I value by trying to make them non-platonic.
Okay, but what about that
all important issue of
getting laid? Well, it's not like I saw all that much
action before I made this
resolution. Furthermore, what I did get was mostly with women who I was so
unhappy with that it wasn't worth those few moments of
bliss. Once in a long while I have run into women who didn't have much in common with me but were willing to sleep with me for the
hell of it,
no strings attached. Like a
dumbass I let them
slip out of my life. I'm keeping my eyes open for the next one, though. She'll come along eventually.
I suppose my somewhat disquieting conclusion is that you can't have your cake and eat it too. If you can find a
cool woman who'll also sleep with you, you're the
luckiest guy alive. But you're more likely to get your
physical and
intellectual needs
satisfied by different
individuals.
Life sucks like that.