Sometimes I lose myself in hysterical laughter. Usually when this happens to me, it happens because I see the laughter coming and dive into it headlong. It's laughter at everything, at nothing in particular. Certain sights or events are able to set me off, particularly when I've had a couple of drinks, but even when I'm stone sober. I'll start chuckling, and I'll keep continue at a faster and faster pitch until I'm nearly hyperventilating, and then fall right over the edge into uncontrollable howls of laughter. Once I get going, I have a hard time stopping for at least ten minutes, and sometimes for as long as an hour. Once recently, when this happened to me, I spent probably forty-five minutes out of ninety laughing, and most of it was consecutive.

I laugh until there are tears streaming from my smiling eyes. I laugh until I can't breathe. I stop, take one slow deep breath, and dissolve back into helpless, uncontrollable laughter. If I'm standing, I fall down. If I'm sitting, I collapse into my own folded arms. I laugh so hard that my whole body shakes. I laugh loud and I laugh long. The laughter tends to be contagious; at least a couple of people around me tend to follow into it, if for no other reason than because the sight of me laughing hysterically is so damn funny.

After I'm done laughing, I feel what I can only describe as a euphoric high, one which lasts until I go to sleep. For hours or even days afterwards, I have to work to keep from smiling. I laugh more often, harder, and longer. I feel happier and more energetic. I cultivate this laughter and the feeling it brings; I seek it out. I laugh experimentally just to see if I could descend into a full-on laughing fit. And sometimes, I have to stop myself because I realize that the timing is poor or that the surroundings are inappropriate. As proud as I am of my intelligence, I almost feel more blessed, more unique, for my ability to laugh and be cleansed like this. I wouldn't trade it for anything.