now that it's cool, even sexy, to be a geek, it probably won't be long before we witness an explosion of groupies and gold-diggers seeking the amorous attention of nerds of both sexes. this is merely survival of the fittest at work, and goddamn, it's about time it started working in favor of the pale carpal tunnel victims of the world.

if you hesitate to believe that being a geek is sexy, consider what psychologists tell us the elements of sexiness include.. mainly, these center around the perception of a potential mate as able to be a good provider and/or having the fertility and good dna to produce cute little genius children who won't put you in a retirement home. the good provider attribute is a no-brainer. geeks make a lot of money. even people in the free software community live comfortably.

as for the second half of the equation, the stereotype of a nerd is tied to porn. this may well be because the internet is so full of porn and the internet was for a long time the sole domain of intelligent antisocials. what can we assume about people who need this much porn on such a wide variety of topics, in such sundry media? that their sex drives overwhelm those of mere mortals and that they are capable of beginning the process of producing healthy offspring at any time, day or night.

thus it only follows that in the very near future, geeks will be innundated by requests for their manly or womanly services. we will have a wide array of choices in potential mates following us everywhere we go in screaming swarms. fan clubs will be formed to celebrate the virtues of authors of brilliant software, and perhaps even really talented testers and tech support people.

sadly, when this all comes to pass, we will likely feel so alienated from our fans that we will have no choice but to select partners from our own ranks, leaving poor computer illiterates to nurse the wounds of unrequited love. it is possible that we will find some sympathy in the arms of similarly famous people, such as actors and rock stars and supermodels, but while they might understand the burdens of fame and being a sex symbol, they would be unable to comprehend the specific traumas the result from millions of peple emailing you every day telling you how your software saved their lives and they want to name their first-born in your honor.

probably, in the end, the situation will remain much as it is now and geeks will end up dating other geeks. and the poor geek groupies, with their leather pants and surgically enhanced body parts, will go home and weep over their shrines to alpha nerds, and we will feel sadness for them and guilt in our hearts.

maybe that's the price of fame.