So you've decided to become a geek.. Congratulations! There are numerous and varied rewards associated with being a geek, but it will take a lot of dedication for you to get there. But persevere and you will find that it's all worth it.

The decision you have made is a brave one. Many people shy away from long nights of staying up writing code, losing their social lives, owning a Linux t-shirt for every day of the week.. But not you! Before you've even started, you're ahead of the game. Just by making this committment, you've done something few others have been capable of. And imagine what lies ahead of you - fame, fortune, sexual favors - someday, you may even become 31337!

Below is the syllabus for this course. All classes will be held in small, dim cubicles from 10pm - 4am. Please remember to bring a mechanical pencil, a Leatherman, any O'Reilly book (as long as it's not on some sissy topic like HTML), and some peguin paraphernalia to decorate your workspace. Caffeine will be available in liquid, candy, or pill form.

Week 1: We will do 'Hello world' in every programming language in existence, skipping over one or two assembly languages.
Week 2: We will learn to use IRC. we will also delve briefly into BBSs, the history of the internet, and overcoming emoticon addiction.
Week 3: We will learn about Xerox PARC, why we hate Microsoft, and why Linux is good/god. We will debate whether or not GUI's are beneath us. We will not speak of the Macintosh.
Week 4: Everyone will design their own small hardware or software project and execute it. On Thursday of week 4, the faculty will evaluate the projects and change the specifications. Projects will be due Friday morning.
Week 5: Upon satisfactory completion of the week 4 assignment, we will begin writing open-source software to relieve the frustration of writing code for a living. Concurrently, we will begin a large hardware or software project to be completed by week 8. All projects will be compatible with windows.
Week 6: We will have a hiatus from class. During this break, we will read Snow Crash or Neuromancer, the Illuminatus trilogy, and whatever gets posted to Slashdot.
Week 7: We will spend almost every minute working on our projects. In our spare time, we will set up servers in our homes so that we can check our personal email and update our websites while we are working on our projects.
Week 8: We will present our projects. They will receive one of three possible grades from the 'customer' (faculty members) - 'does not fulfill specifications,' 'usable,' 'too complicated,' the first being the lowest grade, the last being the highest (it's not your fault the customer isn't bright enough to understand it..).

Becoming a geek will be the most rewarding experience of your life. It may sound overwhelming, but after eight weeks of training, you'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner. Take that existential leap into the void. Do it for yourself.

optional seminars: 'scifi: not just for teenagers,' 'games for the atari and commodore 64,' and 'sushi as art.'