Since junk food is alledgedly lacking in nutrients, and since shampoo (and other beauty products) seem to be full of vitamins and pro-vitamins and alpha-hydroxy acids (no I don't know what they are either) it would seem that the ideal diet (apart from the vending machine diet I am currently enjoying) would be burgers and face cream. This would provide tasty-snackness as well as vitamin enriched goodness - without the interference of vegetables.

No responsibility for any horrible stomach cramps or vomiting of blood that may result from this diet is implied or should be inferred by the author's proposal.