alright, you people. for shame. here sits a perfectly good node, wasting away as a nodeshell, yet to be filled by the people who partook in far more of the activities of the pacific northwest tabnet / everything pit-of-doom-sacrifice and retinal scarring (tm). tsk. well, that's just lovely. that was sarcasm. you ought all be very ashamed of yourselves, leaving me with the opportunity to make the first writeup.

personally, i had a damned fabulous weekend. i met the celebrity of e2 celebrities, pseudo_intellectual (though he doesn't remember talking to me..), i saw a lovely fireworks show, i got a little bit drunk and obtained a large quantity of interesting colored (or coulored) and confusing currency, and experienced something that i feel strongly was very akin to the whole wto nonsense.

first, i must say, the train rules. i had a very exciting time, as i passed through many of the towns i've lived in during my lifetime and was able to regale moa (my travelling companion for the duration of the weekend) with tales of my youth. i swear to god we passed right through the backyard of the house i was born in. it pays to live on the i-5 corridor. first revelation/affirmation: it's far easier to get into canada than to get out. i've never spent more than two minutes passing through canadian customs. i've been stopped numerous times going back into the us, despite the fact that i have no criminal record and have lived an hour from the border for most of my existence.

we elitists chose not to stay in the tabnet house with all the geeks, but instead roomed at the hotel dominion, in gastown (i don't know what that means or why it's called that, so don't ask). considering how much bukowski i've been reading lately, it was utterly perfect. small and unique and kind of smelly, reeking of history. second revelation: hotel maids can see their shared occupation in each others' eyes. you know why? because we bother to look each other in the eye. needless to say, i stripped the sheets and left a tip because the maid was nice.

much walking was involved. but walking does not phase intrepid travellers and so we arrived at the pit of doom at about 8. because we're intrepid, but sort of lazy. thankfully, people were still there, and hitting each other with styrofoam-covered bats. introductions were made and i promptly forgot them, due to the fact that the majority of participants were not noders. or, at least, noders i had heard of. we waited for a few minutes and icicle and her roommate showed up, and then we ventured on through stanley park to someplace i couldn't find again if my life depended on it. but we sat down near the porta-potties, and hence had a nice landmark, enabling us to go off to a nearby bar and get a little goofy before the fireworks began. in hindsight, it would have been better to try and engage a larger percentage of the geeks in question in this venture, but geeks are shy, so we just ran away.

came back just as the show started and the frat kids around us were very elated. saw the aftermath of a few fights on the way back and there was rumor of pepper spray in the vicinity. overall, it was lovely. and no goddamn forced patriotism. nice. the show ended and there was some standing around, then people departed and we had somehow condensed ourselves to a smaller, more managable group of noders, losing only icicle and her roommate. we walked up a very long street (robson?) with lots and lots of people, a sea of people (hence the wto reference), for quite a while. poor automobile drivers sat stranded in the middle of the pedestrian traffic, looking amused. third revelation: canadians are very mellow. in america, we don't stand for that shit - i'm bigger than you, get the fuck out of my way.

we split from the group and the rest is merely a sad story about missed connections as a result of the inadequacy of cell phones. or something. there was more drinking, without the e2 posse, and some sightseeing the next day. fourth revelation: public transportation, especially skytrains and subways, is a very good thing. we hopped on the train and went back to the states, apparently well before the party ended.

so now all you people who were actually there for the majority need to fill in the details..

And actually, I created this node last night, but then I realized I was in NO condition to write anything useful, so I just went to bed instead. As I was writing the text below, prole was writing her text above, and she hit "submit first, apparently". = )

Well, even though sparky got to it first, and P_I still hasn't been able to Node The Thing Up, here's my take on the event of the season. Times are approximate. Certain minor details may be incorrect. Convert to metric where required.

Preliminaries: Jeeves gets about 7 hours of sleep on Thursday night, then wastes Friday fooling around. Winds up staying up very late making contingency plans in case his ride doesn't show up at the airport, and only sleeps from 2:30a till 3:30a, at which point he drives to Phoenix and boards the plane to Seattle.

9:30a Jeeves lands in Seattle, somewhat nervous and really hoping his ride will show up so he doesn't have to ride city buses around Seattle, a town which he's never been to before.

10:00a Guy walks into terminal hesitantly waving a sign labelled "JEEVES". Jeeves waves, brief introductions.

1:00p Jeeves and sparky arrive in Vancouver, after a brief dalliance with a [customs who demanded to know where we were going and what we were going to do there.

4:30p After lunch at Subway and several hours of wandering around downtown Vancouver before finally finding the Pit of Doom (this was only accomplished because of the TabNet/E2 chalk graffiti on the back wall of the Pit), Jeeves is so tired by now that he simply must sleep. He naps on the concrete surrounding the Pit of Doom, and is only accosted by Station Security once. He got a whole hour of sleep.

6:15p A strange guy wearing a bizarre hat and sporting a very interesting beard wanders into the Pit of Doom and sits on the blocks. After a few seconds of staring, the strange man asked us if we were waiting for someone...we said we were indeed. He then asked if we were from "Everything2". Again, we replied in the affirmative. The man introduced himself as Pseudo_Intellectual, at which point sparky immediately threw himself at his feet and bowed appreciatively. Jeeves settled for a handshake.

6:30p - 8:30p Random skanky TabNetters arrive, plus yam. The fencing with home-grown Nerf bats commences. After a grueling, bitter duel with his foe, our hero Jeeves is overpowered by the writeup-saturated Pseudo_Intellectual and hurled to the metal of the Pit's grate begging for mercy. After considerable waiting, more Tabbers, moa, icicle and her roommate, and prole arrive.

8:30p-ish Entire group enjoys scenic walk to the site of the fireworks. Pseudo_Intellectual serenades our contingent with Jawharp music, then passes out kazoos. Several levels of StarCon music, in full orchestrated kazoo parts, amuses passersby. Group and nearby innocents pelted with three year old (I am not kidding) mini-marshmallows. prole and moa go for a "walk", returning 45 minutes later (too bad, they missed the kazoo symphony).

10p-ish An awesome fireworks display began.

11:30p After the fireworks, the group stands around debating where to go. The group splits and starts walking to the TabHouse, except for Pseudo_Intellectual, moa, prole, jeeves, sparky, and one of P_I's roommates, who headed for sparky's truck. Near the garage, prole and moa went off to go drinking. Jeeves, sparky, P_I, and the roommate drive over to the TabHouse.

1:00a (Sunday) After an interminable debate about what to do at the TabHouse, pizza is ordered and a game of Trivial Pursuit begins, with 4 teams of random Tabbers/noders. Jeeves had the coveted honor of being on P_I's team. prole and moa call up and say they found a hostel to stay in -- they are never seen or heard from again.

3:00a Jeeves, though amazed at how long he'd been awake so far, finally crashes. Sleeps wrapped in a throw rug using his duffel bag as a pillow, in P_I's basement, due to the shortage of linens. As it turns out, if he'd stayed up later he could have fought sparky for a mattress. Jeeves considered stealing the sleeping bag that icicle's roommate was using for a pillow, but he opted out of dealing with a just-woken-up girl.

5:00a The Trivial Pursuit game ends, nobody won (so I hear).

9:17 Jeeves is woken up by icicle coming down to the basement to wake up her roommate. Wondering why they left so early, Jeeves goes back to sleep.

12:30p Pseudo_Intellectual tells Jeeves to get up for "breakfast".

1:30p Jeeves, sparky, Pseudo_Intellectual, yam, a friend of yam's, and P_I's roommate walk to a Dim Sum place in Chinatown called "Park Lock".

3:00p Some of them were still hungry after the dim sum, so the group goes to the Chinese bakery that exclusively sustained Pseudo_Intellectual's first 3,000 writeups, according to one of his roommates.

3:15p Group goes to Dr. Sun-Yat-Sen memorial garden and contemplates the lilypads. Jeeves cracks bad jokes about old games, to the amusement of P_I and the consternation of sparky.

3:45p Group goes to 7-11 to purchase candy and slurpees. Jeeves buys a 64oz soda. yam departs the group shortly afterwards (and no, her name is not "May"). The group heads back to the TabHouse.

4:30p sparky, Jeeves, Pseudo_Intellectual, and one of his roommates discuss the Northwest vs. the Southwest, Linux, E2, E1, old games, and rain for several hours.

7:30ish Pseudo_Intellectual invites Jeeves and sparky to ice cream at Casa del Gelatto, which carries 168 flavors of ice cream (meaning, every kind you can think of). Jeeves considers a triple-scoop of "Gorgonzola and Blue Cheese" and opts for a scoop each of corn, rice, and mango-macademia.

9:00p-ish Jeeves and sparky thank Pseudo_Intellectual for his hospitality and hit the road, only to drive around Vancouver following misplaced signs until they wound up going the wrong way on a one-way street. sparky gives up on remembering the path they took coming into the city and relies on instinct, miraculously locating Highway 99 and the way back home.

1:10a (Monday) Sparky drops Jeeves off at the airport in Seattle.

1:51a Jeeves concludes writing his notes about the gathering for later noding, stretches out on his luggage, and goes to sleep for 4 hours.

Epilogue: Jeeves's flight landed in Phoenix at 9:30a, at which point he went to ASU to help his girlfriend move into her apartment. He finally wound up going to bed at 2am on Tuesday morning, and slept for 100 years.