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SOY! SOY! SOY! Soy makes you strong! Strength crushes enemies! SOY! (idea)

(all of SOY! SOY! SOY! Soy makes you strong! Strength crushes enemies! SOY!, no other writeups in this node)

(idea) by mblase (1.5 wk) (print)   ?   Thu Aug 10 2000 at 20:35:21
C! info: 8 C!s given by: Dialogue, Muke, Devon, Wrabhit, Jet-Poop, OberonDarksoul, krenseby, ariels

I was strolling through Kroger trying to refill the refrigerator when I decided, for no apparent reason, to detour through the health foods section. Curiousity, I suppose. The prices and packaging available for organically grown breakfast cereal and pectin-sweetened oatmeal has always distantly amused me.

It seemed like the non-dairy dairy section had been growing lately, however. At least a dozen different companies were packaging and advertising soy milk, rice milk, vanilla flavored soy milk, chocolate flavored soy milk, original flavored soy milk, soy this, soy that, SOY! SOY! SOY!

I must have said that last part out loud, because a hoarse whisper entered my ear from behind me:

Soy makes you strong!

I spun my head, but saw only a shoulder of a dirty coat while the whisper reappeared by my other ear:

Strength crushes enemies!

I turned again, only to see the back of a tired, bedraggled homeless-looking man pushing a grocery cart which, against all logic, actually looked dirtier than he was. He moved away from me at a slow, but steady pace around the corner to the bread aisle. His cart never once squeaked, I noticed later. I stood up in a hurry, then had to lean against the shelf until the resulting head rush wore off. When my vision cleared, I walked quickly around the corner to see where the man was heading and what he had wanted... but he wasn't there.

I glanced down the next aisle, and the next, and the next. Not a sign of him. I turned to go back to my grocery cart, but stopped short when I saw it right in the middle of the aisle, blocking an irate shopper behind it. It had somehow followed me out of the health foods section. I looked over the side to make sure nothing had been taken out. Nothing had, but one blue box of Soy Dream had been added.

Soy!....

I heard in my ears again. I ignored it. Somehow I knew there would be no one behind me when I looked.

The irate shopper maneuvered around me. I picked up the new box and then, without really knowing why, carefully put it back in.

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