Everything2 New Writeups

A Brief Survey of Songs and Song Titles Relating Eye Color (thing)

2012-02-22T07:32:50Z

Judging by the number of memorable tunes expressely relating the fact of somebody or other having one eye color or another, this physical trait is, assuredly, of some importance to songwriters. There are it turns out a great many songs referencing eye color in the song title -- which raises perhaps a bit of suspense, a bit of a risk, for instantly there is a point of identification for those who share the eye color of interest. A singer who warbles of how he loves his lady's blue eyes may break the hearts of all the brown-eyed girls who can't help but know that this song isn't about them.

This survey is by no means complete. It can't even scratch the surface of complete. So many songs would fall into this category that it is instead a smattering of some of the more interesting such examples. (If I'm missing something which really deserves to be mentioned, draw my attention and I'll hook it up.)

BLUE…

Lent (idea)

2012-02-22T04:59:31Z

I give up winter.

I give up raspberries, and coca cola, and using a tea cozy as a hat.

I give up the grade F green tea that I bought that tastes like straw, and wallet chains and sundried limes. I give up putting cherries in ice cream and will no longer ride a unicycle to work or even anywhere.

I give up building boats out of fiberglass and letting my ears hang low. I will stop storing ducks and navigating by wind-chime. I give up mixing ham and yogurt, and drinking from the top of flagpoles. I will not skip backwards, and will stop wearing bracelets as necklaces.

I will not not not stop triple negatives as if I understood that sentence. I will not dot my sevens nor pimp my ride. I give up houses of cards and blowing my nose into headphones, opening mail and buying used light-bulbs. I give up colored screwdrivers and most swimwear, and oil paints in my cereal.

I hope lent gives it back.

I am a teacher, and I don't know what your pancreas does (personal)

2012-02-22T03:49:17Z

I am a teacher, and I don't know what your pancreas does. I have a degree in education, neither primary or secondary, but in the rather niche field of adult education. Something that I am not currently employed in, but something that I find to be a vocation. As for the pancreas, I shouldn't say that I am totally unaware of its function. It is an endocrine organ, or maybe an exocrine one, depending on how you want to view the topology of it. It is right below the stomach, and releases enzymes into the small intestine that help digest food. One of the most important of these being insulin. So I don't know much about the pancreas. Don't ask me for advice on it.

A Medical Doctor can tell you all about your pancreas, using complicated latin and biochemistry, and about even more obscure parts of your body, little invisible organnelles deep within your cells. They can tell you how little things you don't know existed can change your…

Flower of Autumn (fiction)

2012-02-21T17:58:56Z

Previous

"Your ticket please, sir?" The cabin attendant was a woman, attractive, and wearing a company uniform. I waved my right hand over the reader; although she didn't know it, I didn't have a chiplant, but the Tzun had squirted my ticketing info to her reader from its sheath at my side. The reader winked green and she smiled. I moved past her into the narrow cabin.

The shuttle was perhaps a hundred and twenty meters in length, with a narrow delta wing that flared heavily at the trailing edge. As I found my seat, a third of the way back on the port side, I could see ground crews outside the small window ports working around the cylindrical shape that rested atop the wing out near the flared wingtip.

I don't see any evidence that we are pursued, said the Tzun on vibe. Relax. Have a drink.

The latter instantly aroused my suspicions. The Tzun was forever harping on the weakness and unreliability…

Pandeism and Prayer (essay)

2012-02-21T08:05:54Z

I have been asked by several people of late: "Do Pandeists pray?"

Well, prayer means different things to different people. Satirist Ambrose Bierce defined the word to mean:

"To ask that the laws of the Universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy."

And indeed, to most prayer probably connotes speaking to some external entity, separate from themselves and from our Universe (but having immense power and likely conceived as our Universe's Creator), and asking of that entity that the course of existence be altered in some way to suit the desire of the asker. There is, one must admit, an oddity to this concept. For, if ours is a deterministic Universe, with an omniscient Creator which already knew all the outcomes before the Universe was created even -- indeed if ours was a Creator which had an infinite number of Universe-unfolding options before it and…

tetrahydrogestrinone (thing)

2012-02-21T05:48:54Z

Tetrahydrogestrinone, also known as THG or less technically The Clear, is an anabolic steroid chemically similar to gestrinone and trenbolone. THG is a potent agonist for androgen receptors, estimated to be at least 10 times as potent as the comparable steroid trenbolone, meaning that it builds muscle and burns fat extremely quickly at very small dosages (about 5mg or "just a few drops under the tongue"). Unfortunately for the people using it, it is also an extremely potent agonist for progesterone receptors, so it's also likely to halt natural testosterone production, leading to significant side effects.

It was invented by Patrick Arnold in the late 1990s with funding provided by Victor Conte's company, Bay Area Laboratory Co-operative. BALCO was a legitimate distributor of dietary supplements on the surface, but was also involved in the distribution of various illegal steroids to professional-level coaches and athletes. THG was intended to be another one of…

5 Days a Stranger (thing)

2012-02-21T04:01:52Z

5 Days a Stranger is a freeware horror adventure game released on September 29, 2003. It was designed and written by Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw (better known for his more recent work, Zero Punctuation). The game was created using the Adventure Game Studio engine, and was extremely well-received by the AGS community, receiving five awards. Due to the reception, Yahtzee made a series of sequels which would eventually become known as the Chzo Mythos -- however, these sequels are very different from this game, featuring a more Lovecraftian style of horror, while this one is more like a simple ghost story.

Backstory

Sir Clarence DeFoe, a lawyer who studied at Warwick University, was the youngest member of the noble DeFoe family line. Having recently married the love of his life, Julia Swanson, Clarence used his law experience to engage in a lengthy court battle to prove his right to inherit the DeFoe family estate. The couple eventually won…

these streets are too straight for your video game heart (dream)

2012-02-21T03:41:30Z

Mission Street
is full of foodstands, rotting fruit
missionary churches. Shouts of mariachi
smogblown pickups with
ladder racks
bumper stickers
running red light cameras.

Valencia Street
is full of oranges, fig jam
wine bars. Bookstores piled high with
fading yellow tomes. Sweetness follows, there's
less gum on sidewalks but
less soul somehow.

Up on Castro, some young man
is getting busy in a bar. Down on Mission
someone's getting 86ed. Down on Valencia
some young college/coder couple are
drinking coffee
speaking Mandarin
holding hands.

And we all float back down to Mission
and we all float back down Valencia.
And we all float back down past the churches
and back down Market to the Bay.

Falling out of love with your best friend (idea)

2012-02-21T01:39:46Z

The next morning the boy woke up an hour before his alarm went off and lay in bed staring at the ceiling—'who the hell makes a ceiling out of cinder blocks?'. The light from the hallway flowed under the door and reflected off the linoleum giving the room a dim underlighting. 'So that was it', he thought. 'My first girlfriend and she broke up with me after only a week and a half.' His arm stretched toward the ceiling as he made shadow puppets with his hands. What had he done wrong? His eyes circled around the room, scanning as though the answer lay in some dark corner. Did she feel like he'd ignored her? They circled again. Was he too distant? Circled again. Was he just a temporary stand-in for the guy she really wanted?

He thought of the conversation they'd had, the conversation he had demanded and she'd tried to avoid: "I guess I want to know why?" he mumbled. His fingers tugged at…

Hand, foot and mouth disease (thing)

2012-02-20T13:46:38Z

"What's wrong, honey?
"My mouth hurts, mommy."
"Maybe you're just getting a new tooth. I'll give you a lollipop."

The young child declines the offer, and continues to complain about of pains in her mouth. Later in the evening at dinnertime, she doesn't feel like eating since she has a sore throat. A thermometer registers a mild fever. Her parent also notices that she has a rash on the palms of her hands. What's going on?

Could it be chicken pox? No, she was vaccinated a few years ago and there hasn't been a case of it at her school this year. Is it measles? No, she has the vaccine for that too. Could she have walked through poison ivy while we were walking through the park a few days ago? Or maybe it was the mosquitoes that have been unusually prolific during this hot, humid summer. Whatever it is, she needs to see the doctor.

After a visit to the doctor, she was diagnosed with hand, foot and mouth disease, along with many others of her age in an epidemic…

in a hallway that gently slopes downward... (place)

2012-02-20T09:44:55Z

...split bits of saints and wires hang over

head, spilt from the cracks of rust

of lust. The hallway hasexplainswine,

contains Locke in Stockings and you,

smocking ness in the sick

made from butterfly soup cooked

under hours and

hours and minutes and seconds—

greeting the difference between the pretention and

proliferate of the real as a matter of purpose.

And then...

ramollissement (thing)

2012-02-20T08:44:28Z

French word meaning softening. Used in medical writing in reference to organs, typically the brain.

maple syrup (thing)

2012-02-20T01:26:21Z

"The Savages of Canada, in the time that the sap rises, in the Maple, make an incision in the Tree, by which it runs out; and after they have evaporated eight pounds of the liquor, there remains one pound as sweet ...."
from British Royal Society paper, 1685
"The Maple Syrup Story History of Maple Syrup"

It takes a sugar maple growing in the northeastern United States nearly 40 years to reach a diameter of 12 inches, wide enough to tap for maple sap, more than half a lifetime for most of us. A tree this size will yield about 10 gallons of sap in a season, which gets boiled down to a quart of maple syrup.

One quart.

A quart of fancy grade maple syrup at retail prices will get you about $15-20 dollars. To get this quart of syrup, 10 gallons of sap needs to be boiled down, either using wood or petroleum for fuel. Making maple syrup will put a little cash in your pockets.

The same tree will yield about $5…

2008 Democratic Presidential Primary (event)

2012-02-19T23:46:52Z

The 2008 US Presidential Election was historic for many reasons. One of the most obvious is that it led to the election of America's first African-American president, but it also had other things that made it significant. It was the first election since 1952 in which none of the candidates involved were an incumbent president or incumbent or past vice-president. It was the first time in United States history that two sitting Senators ran against each other. And it was the first time that major party candidates from Alaska and Hawaii ran in an election.

But before the general election, there was a primary election, and in retrospect, it might have been just as important in the long run. While the Republican Primary was concluded fairly quickly, the Democratic Primary was a long and complicated struggle, being contested until the finish. For the Democratic Party, there had not been a contested primary since 1992, and the…

Entertain Evil Thoughts (personal)

2012-02-19T22:22:40Z

I have a joke when drinking wine. The taste, texture, aroma and experience are all good, but someone should fix a flaw in it. Because all wine seems to have this problem where it stops working. There you are, one moment listening to the greatest hits of the 1980s and thinking how great everyone around you is, and the next you are sitting, feeling grouchy and disconsolate with a headache. This is a problem with other substances of use and abuse as well. You can not permanently stay in a state of ecstasy and exhalation. This is also the problem with material possessions and success. Even if it was possible to have all the possessions you desired, the pleasure of it would wear off soon enough.

If you have completed adolescence and do not have a personality disorder, this is something that you have come to accept.

I think, however, our society…

Entertain Evil Thoughts (essay)

2012-02-19T19:36:48Z

I think that we should entertain evil thoughts.

I think of it quite literally. If an evil thought pops up, greedy, sneaky, snarky, mean, invite it in. Bring it to the living room of your mind. Give it the most comfortable armchair and a stool for its feet, near the fire. A warm blanket, offer it coffee or a glass of wine, entertain it with kindness. In all likelihood it will be so astounded to be welcomed and warmed that it will fall asleep, disarmed, there by the fire. And you can go about your business.

The alternative is to try to refuse it entry. We are what we eat but we are not what we think. If we refuse an evil thought space, try to stuff it, it goes to…

It's quiet... too quiet (idea)

2012-02-19T15:59:43Z

"It's quiet out here; too quiet. I've always wanted to say that."
--Templeton "Faceman" Peck of The A-Team; The Taxicab Wars, aired 11/01/83.

One of the most overused movie tropes of all time. It is a very easy and well-recognized way for the scriptwriter to indicate that something exciting is about to happen. It has reached the point where few, if any, movies will use it seriously. It still appears in any number of comedic movies, although it is ridiculously hackneyed even in the context of über-corny jokes.

Donatello: The perimeter's quiet.
Leonardo: Yeah, a little too quiet.
{they knock out the only two guards}
Donatello: Well, that was easy!
Leonardo: Yeah, a little too easy.
{they see Raph tied up}
Donatello: Look! It's Raph!
Michaelangelo: Yeah, a little too Raph!
…

Obamney (essay)

2012-02-19T08:04:25Z

You might imagine that 'Obamney' is a recent manufacture, something the more reliably conservative candidates came up with in this election cycle to tar Mitt Romney with the brush of his truly stunning range of historical policy preferences eerily close to those of erstwhile opponent Barack Obama. Actually, the term was used as far back as June of 2007 -- back when Hillary Clinton was still the 'inevitable' Democratic nominee, and the leading Republican candidate (if straw polls are to be counted) was probably Bill Frist. Maybe Rudy Giuliani. But (in something of a twist) the author of that 2007 bit, titled "The Vision of Obamney" was addressing foreign policy similarities, that area being of greater concern at the time than the economic issues which ended up dominating the last two election cycles, and the social issues which seem to be rising in importance in the one coming up this year.

Much like Obama, Romney's inconstant…

Cliché Storm (fiction)

2012-02-19T08:02:41Z

It was sometime in the afternoon when Bernard hurried up the steps to my front door. I could see him from my spot by the window; the collar of his long coat turned up, his hat managing to shield most of his face from view. Only Bernard would think the stereotypical private detective look made him inconspicuous. I turned my attention back to my book.

The doorknob rattled loud enough to be heard in the livingroom. A moment later, the pounding began.

"Claire!" he said, banging on the door. "For Godsake, let me in!"

I weighed the pros and cons of leaving him out there. On the one hand, I could ignore him and get another few minutes of Bernard-free reading. On the other, that meant he'd be sitting out there knowing I was ignoring him.

I set the book down.

"You know," I said, unlocking the door. "There's a key under the mat."

He stepped into the little entrance hall and headed straight for the living room. In one fluid motion his coat was off and tossed onto the…

Necrotech (fiction)

2012-02-19T07:20:43Z

My eyes slowly focus on Ross's ceiling, lit by the diffused late-morning light coming through the curtains. When you wake up like this, after a long night, your mind doesn't adjust right away. You lie there thinking about your fears, hopes, and dreams. Your mind is unfocused, and you simply exist.

The springs of the mattress creak as I climb out of it. Ross is still snoozing, his face parallel with the couch legs, hugging an invisible person where I used to be. I rub my arm, still feeling the chafe of stiff springs. Maybe we can go out and get him a new mattress today. I'm getting tired of sleeping on that one.

Ross actually has a real bed, but it's in the tiny bedroom of this apartment. I'm over almost every day now, so he just leaves the spare out in the living room so we can sleep together. The single mattress in his real bed isn't big enough for that. Heh.

I walk into the kitchen automatically, my brain still in standby mode. Ross and I didn't get to do anything last night,…

Sometimes, I need this. (poetry)

2012-02-19T06:58:08Z

Sometimes, I need this,
to just hold you and
to be quiet and close.

Sometimes, I remember
that I am weak and
that I need your strength.

Not that I'll ever
tell you any of this.

I just hope that when I
slip beside you and hold you,
resting my head against you
while not saying a word,
that you'll just let me
stay that way until
I am strong again.

Because sometimes
the weak are only
strong when they
have someone to be
strong for.

Stand and unfold yourself (fiction)

2012-02-19T06:09:24Z

Previous | Next

I hit perhaps two or three meters later. The ground was, thankfully, soft; I rolled to a stop in a stand of tall grass. There was a loud whine behind me as the stolen aircar lifted back into the evening sky, and I had time to wish I'd strapped my prisoner into his seat since both rear doors were now lying on the ground somewhere nearby, but the car lifted smoothly. He'd probably come to in the next few minutes; as long as he made it that far, he'd be fine since he'd be able to override the aircar's controls.

Footsteps approached as I brushed myself off. My passenger walked up, looking annoyingly unruffled. "Ah, I see you made it."

I ignored him and stood, looking around. There weren't any artificial lights directly visible on the ground. I estimated we'd made it perhaps forty klicks from Landfall before the car was overridden; a bright glow on the horizon showed clearly the way…

Gears of War 3 (thing)

2012-02-19T04:36:30Z

Review of Gears of War 3

Gears of War 3 is: "a stark reminder that you should not be playing campaign mode if you want something fun and different."

Gears of War is fun. When we say that, we are not talking about any particular iteration of Gears of War, but rather the idea Gears of War is fun. Gears of War, not as a game, but as a concept, is intriguing. In an introduction to one of the Gears of War games, one of the makers of the game explored his recollections of wondering how a game about taking cover could be made into something engaging. We may be a minority, but we never really liked games where hiding and taking cover was the way to get to the end of a game.

Gears of War changed our minds about these types of games. It's not that we think that hiding from the enemy is A Good Thing, but rather doing it the way that Gears of War suggests is an aspect that makes a game more interesting.…

same window, same tree, different day (idea)

2012-02-19T03:47:08Z

"It was a tree, and there was one leaf left on the tree, and I wondered: 'Wow, if you can make it through winter, you may be here until next year. Wouldn't that be great, if you were just the only guy that hung on?' I guess you could say everything's a metaphor for everything else, but sometimes it's just what it is. It's just what it's about—about a tree."
Tom Waits in an interview by Jon Pareleo, NY Times October 23, 2011
A Grizzled Troubador Dusts Off His Bowler

Two days ago it rained and I drank coffee, looking out a bay window without curtains at one branch of an apple tree we should have pruned in the fall. What had bothered me for months took on a beauty and a sadness, this tangled cross-hatching of too many thin branches, guaranteeing no fruit…

Scribbles from the waiting room (poetry)

2012-02-19T01:06:13Z

I stayed in the hospital after hours
Until the angels passed as flowers

Picked their petals and pressed their petals
To hardback chairs where guests settle

With heads cupped as pistols
Bags make the warning visual

For the cleaners sipping coffee
Black no sugar. Swallow as softly

As those breathing in the waiting room
Who can't face the news

So they sit and follow the second hand
Throwing dreams into a pond to see where they land

Mixed with pennies the goldfish taste
Copper tainted framed with faith

That isn't lost under halogen lights
That dull the mood and damage the fight

Adding half moons to palms
That are soon to scar the calm

And blossom to roses. Shed their skin
To replace shoulder blades as reddened wings.