sexual orientation

created by toad

(idea) by toad (?) (print) ? (I like it!) Sat Nov 13 1999 at 9:03:05

Which way your libido points. Gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual (generally). Not to be confused with gender identity.

(idea) by Wintersweet (1.2 y) (print) ? (I like it!) 1 C! Sat Mar 04 2000 at 4:56:43

Having a set-in-concrete sexual orientation is a pretty recent notion--and, I think, a fairly silly idea. Humans are very complex creatures, and human behavior is difficult to put into neat little boxes. Maybe we should stop stressing over the sex so much and pay more attention to the love.

(idea) by Duchess (5.1 y) (print) ? (I like it!) Tue Jul 03 2001 at 12:43:38

This is one of my random rants invoked by some thought or other that catches in my mind and becomes a full scale monologue in my head. So... what is sexual orientation? Or rather, have we ever thought about what causes it? Is it merely a physical factor, or does it go deeper than that?

Typically, people define sexual orientation as the gender to which you are physically attracted. But... in thinking on it, people are people... and while such orientation could be completely physically based, it is true that people can be attracted to someone because of who they are... rather than their physical aspects. Rather than applying this simply to attractiveness, for a moment, apply this to gender as well. People harbor feelings for their significant other. So, what if a typical self-classified heterosexual guy feels very close to another guy, so close in fact, that he begins to feel deeply for him? Is this what people call "best buds" or maybe "brothers?" It seems like, if this particular guy means so much to our subject, then is it not much different than when he feels this way about a girl? The single difference is that our male figure is "straight," thus completely pushing aside the option that his dearly beloved friend could perhaps fit in his life in a relationship standpoint.

Granted, it's up to each individual to decide if they are open to various sexualities. This is a two way street for both heterosexuals and homosexuals. Each may ignore or abhor the idea of intimacy (whether it be emotional or physical) with their non-preferred sex. I don't suppose this is short-changing yourself if it's what you ulitimately want, but at the same time, how many not-everyday connections do people pass up on a daily basis?

Going into the idea that people can be physically attracted to anyone (generally used in comparison of attractive versus unattractive people) given that they like the subject's personality enough, or that they feel some emotional attachment to the person... could that not be applied to the basis of gender? Should people be open-minded and look past their inhibitions and ingrained assumptions on their sexuality, they may well realize that they can be attracted to someone of any sex, given the right circumstances.

I'm not sure how many people would actually be able to do this... it's a bit of a different standpoint in that I'm saying that all relationships are the same... and can progress in the same ways. This is to say that a girl may fall into a relationship with her brother's friend from the football team, yet it would be just as likely that the same could happen with her friend from the cheerleading squad. But, this puts us at a fault, because in essence, all friendships have the option of progressing further, meaning that consequently, there is never a simple friendship, that is assured and stress-free. Granted, no friendship is worry-free, but harboring feelings or attractions in a world where freedom of sexuality isn't exactly encouraged or praised could be quite an issue. So I assume the distinct line is that people generally assume their friend's orientation, and by assigning this to each one, know which cases to not cross a line in, so as to not make their friend uncomfortable, and not to put the friendship in a position that risks being awkward. This can go reversely as well... in that people can assign themselves an orientation, and even if they're open to my ideas above, they simply avoid the issues by avoiding placing themselves in the situation.

I think there are a lot of people in the world who are open to all sexualities in general, it just takes strong circumstances to make them willing to step out of the security of their professed orientation. In fact, I often wonder if people who are openly homophobic are not so only because they are scared of the idea that they could feel such a way about their same sex. If someone is really so disgusted by something, then why "eeewwwww" and "*gag*" over it, when it's obviously much more to their advantage to just ignore it, thus sparing themselves whatever rancid feeling this idea invokes in them? (*blink* I've never understood people like that... people respect their right to be straight, so why can't they respect other's rights to not be straight?) Of course, as far as that goes, I've encountered strictly gay people before who would have the same reactions over the idea of heterosexual sex. I suppose the only truly compromising people are those who are bi.

So... this brings us nowhere, because what people could do for themselves is ambigious if they don't. And it's unfair to say what anyone should do. Perhaps maybe people should just relax. Even if they don't understand people of different thoughts (though I think it is possible for almost anyone), respect at least something they could offer.

printable version
chaos

Klein Sexual Orientation Grid	Ugh	gender identity	bisexual
Left-handed homosexuals	Gay	assisted orgasm	erection
androphilic	Gay subcultures in eighteenth century Europe	Walk like you're a sex goddess	Porn Star
gynephilic	ambiphilic	Your hands do the work of 10,000 highly trained lesbian jumping beans	Sexual myths about women
sexual disorientation	AIDS and homosexuality	perfect breasts	Smear the queer
bisupremacy	Conversion therapy	Female masturbation	sexual identity

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