You did what you knew. When you knew better, you did better.

-Maya Angelou (more or less)

I want a man who looks at my dirty feet and is intrigued by what they symbolize- a free woman, unafraid of getting dirty and unincumbered by societal norms.

If you love me, you love my dirty feet.

As you might be able to tell, I'm a bookmark freak.

Ay. I have the words in me, I can't get them out. I'm paralized and preoccupied. But just because the words are there doesn't mean that you are the person to put them out there are you? I dunno.

I had dinner with my roommate's mom today. I know I said things to try to impress her, to make her se past my nose ring, and that I really am a good roommate. i felt like a fake, or, at least a version of me that doesn't come out very often. it all worked out though.

I just learnt how to make an Apache drum from a woman drummaker. It was so cool. There were about 15 women there, and we all communed in a new way. I was the youngest woman there, and I began to remember something that I saw on Oprah (yes, I sometimes watch Oprah - I'm a sap). There was an episode about how she wanted young and old women to come together and create a dialogue between them that could actually help eachother through life. Share things, not makeing life into a competition. And on Saturday, out in the shade of a desert patio, I felt that communion. We were all one by one smudged with sage and eagle's feathers. It was a beautiful experience. It felt as if the feathers were actually taking away the bad spirit and aura that was on our bodies. Then we said a prayer to our grandafather and grandmother spirits. We made our drums, and then we had a mini jam session with different instruments. She talked of our 'flows' and how special it is and how that is actually the time when we are most closely connected to the spirit. And it makes sense to me. She also talked of how during the new mooon, it is a time of introspection and reflection, and at the full moon, it is a time of party, of rejoycing. It was wonderful. Finally, we celebrated one of the women's birthday, and we were a community of women sharing good feelings, clelbrating another year gone by in the wonderful struggle that is to be a woman.