I am on a trip, and am going on a trip soon. Big mandelic journey by train. So when I stopped at The Dollar Tree to pick up some trip essentials (including a book about Jimmy Carter and Ted Kennedy's 1980 primary contest), I was happy to find...boxes marked "Snickers Cookie Dough" I was quite happy. Parts of my trip would take me to the cold regions of Montana (all of them) so I thought it would be good to stock up on something that could fill me with fat and emotional warmth.
The concept started with Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough Ice Cream, turned into Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough pellets, and ended with this...artificial cookie dough including chopped up Snickers. What could go wrong?
Turns out...
The moment I opened it up, and ate the pellets...it didn't seem Snickery. The texture was powdery and dry. It had a smell almost of fermentation, almost yeasty. It had none of the gooeyness or richness of Snickers. When I checked the ingredients, among many others, it had... "Duralox Rosemary", which sounds like someone's statuesque goth girlfriend and does actually contain...Rosemary? Sage, Rosemary and Thyme...three things that don't belong in Snickers. And indeed, the pieces have a savory undertone that I don't associate with cookies OR snickers. I could g even make it through the package...and I bought three.
On a philosophical level, this is about more than the failure of one novelty confection--- it is about me realizing that sometimes my guilty pleasures aren't pleasures, aren't even guilty, but are just a big ol' "Whyyyyyyy???"