While this might sound like a
coy name for an E2 Gathering, this was in fact an actual role playing game released by
TSR in 1988. It has the distinction of being the only
role playing game ever released that came with its own set of hand puppets.
How did TSR sink this
low? Let me explain.
Under the leadership of
Lorraine Williams (who ousted
Gary Gygax and used her family fortune derived from its ownership of the
Buck Rogers name to buy controlling interest in TSR), the gaming company was directed to begin widening the scope of role playing. Williams hoped to get TSR away from serving the needs of the traditional, highly
idiosyncratic fantasy role playing community (a community she made no secret that she
loathed) by licensing and creating role playing games based on classic TV shows. And we're not talking
Star Trek. There would be, for example, a role playing game based on
The Honeymooners. Eventually day time soap operas like
All My Children would get the role playing treatment. (Again I need to stress this is all true... this node is NOT an early
April Fools Joke)
But first up was the
Bullwinkle and Rocky Role Playing Party Game. The boxed game included the standard rule sets plus six "Two-Dimensional Rotating Randomizers" (otherwise known to players of
Twister as "
spinners"), two fake diplomas from
Wossamotta U and the Ukrainian Safe-Cracking Academy of
Pottsylvania, and, the
piece de resistance, 10
vinyl hand puppets!
The Bullwinkle and Rocky Role Playing Party Game offered those unfortunate enough to buy the game one of three ways to play it:
- The Narration Game
- The Everybody Can Do Something Game
- The Graduate Game
In the Narration variation, players get the beginning and ending of a story. They draw cards and generate stories based around the circumstances spelt out in the cards ("a
submarine appears" "you are
hypnotized").
The Everybody Can Do Something variation is "dungeon mastered" by The Narrator. Each player assumes an identity like Bullwinkle and has unique pre-assigned powers. Bullwinkle has powers like Prophesying
Bunion and Mighty Moose Muscles. These powers would make even the most hardened
Tunnels & Trolls player feel deep shame when verbally referring to them. The spinners are used to determine if the powers invoked was a success or failed. Characters then use their powers to achieve certain goals.
The Graduate Game builds on the Everybody Can Do Something by allowing players to make up their own cartoon characters. Character get
randomly assigned powers and
pitfalls.
The game was, not surprisingly, an absolute failure. While Willaims goal was to divest itself of its hardcore gamer following, the game was marketed at
role playing conventions TSR attended. Unable to sell copies, TSR started giving them away as prizes, ostensibly to build word of mouth and critical mass. That proved an impossible task as those who were "lucky" enough to win the game found it impossible to locate another gamer who wanted to play a role playing game that used hand puppets -- even those sleep deprived,
drunk, or high.
After TSR lost a lot of money on Bullwinkle and Rocky Role Playing Party Game, even Lorraine Williams had to grudgingly admit society at large was not ready to accept role playing games, no matter how broad the appeal of the original source material. TSR walked away from thousands of dollars it sunk into securing the role playing game rights to
All My Children and
The Honeymooners. With The Honeymooners TSR got as far as making hundreds of thousands of
Ralph Kramden plastic
figurines. TSR managed to eventually unload the figurines in
Japan, where the works of
Jackie Gleason were enjoying a rediscovery.