I was recently "invited" to join a special new project called Ethics Under the Sea. This is being sponsored by the university where I am a fully tenured professor of ethics and involves going in a bathysphere under the sea, in this case about fifty yards off the coast of Maryland. We go down to the bottom of the sea and look at how ethics are progressing in an undersea environoment. This is very important for the advancement of ethics in our society, as we try to shape things more in the mold of Germany in the 1930s and 1940s, when that country was in its most noble age of productivity, and less like whatever Obama was doing that fucked everything up ethically.
One of the people on my "team" in the bathysphere is Barney, a graduate student working on his Bachelor's degree in ethics so that he can become an ethicist who will help drain the swamp in Washington where we need to hold all elected representatives to two-week terms with no re-election allowed unless you have a mind that is the equivalent of our godlike leader, Donald Trump, who has finished the first quarter of the project to make America great again ahead of schedule (as always - so productive - so HANDSOME). We are working on this and other projects under the sea. Movies have been made about this subject. They include Das Boot and a film I have on videotape called "Praise the U-Boat Captain." You probably won't be able to get that one and my copy is grainy and not available for loan ever so back the heck up, sailor. If you want to get on my bathysphere you will have to fly right. The Little Mermaid also offers some limited insights on what it is like to be under the sea. No other films have ever been made about this or similar subject matter which shows the ethical incompentence of Hollywood and its liberal elite which is controlled by the deep state.
Gosh, I was walking down the street the other day when I saw a paper cup on the ground. I was going to pick it up, but then I realized my net worth means I need to own people to do that for me or to call the cops. It would be unethical for someone with my net worth to bend over and pick up a cup. This is something for a loser who works a menial job for barely enough money for a fucking can of Spaghett-O's at the end of the shift. Those people need to bend over, not just for picking up paper cups, but for cock.
The bathysphere project and the eventual paper I will write for the Maryland Journal of Modern Ethics after the project is completed. The name of the paper will be "Ethics Under the Sea" in case you want to look for it on local magazine rack or in an airport kiosk. The last time I looked for it there, I saw a woman breast feeding her kid in plain sight and used an aluminum pipe to teach her a lesson and I was escorted off airport property because they suspected terrorism and you know liberals and their Homeland Security shit, always up in your face because you are a little bit brown in your complexion like I am.
Back in the bathysphere we were working on taking measurements of various ethical phenomenon we witnessed under the sea. One of the first things I took notice of (as a fully tenured professor of ethics) was the slimy nature of the water. This was another effect of liberalism on our world. It is beginning to make the water slimy and we cannot have this. I jotted this fact down in my undersea notebook (which has characters from The Little Mermaid on the front for comical effect - the guys love it).
Next year I am expected to be named the keynote speaker at the annual Conference of Fully Tenured Professors of Ethics which is being held this year in Manila, a city in Guam which is owned by America. I expect it to be very ethical in nature and look forward to meeting other fully tenured professors of ethics (in the plural sense). I look forward to discussing all that I have learned in my bathysphere as well as touching of issues like there are not enough cows and liberalism, which I have written scholarly papers on for this website (and for which I was promised a $10,000 stipend to be paid on the first of the month for each scholarly paper). This matter is far from settled as is the issue I have with this website's ban on having a concealed pistol on the premises. Sickening how so many people embrace change and are allowed to live when we have methods of slaughtering sixty percent of the population that are rusting away in old warehouses. When I think about these things I am ashamed of our country and this goddamned permissiveness.
I'm also going to be applying what I learned when one of the "people" I "kidnapped" and "tortured" in my "basement" died and I had to research body disposal on the internet. You have to be careful when "torturing" people (hypothetically) because there is a chance you will take it too far and end up needing to research body disposal on the internet as I did. It is time consuming when you work a job as a professor and also try to run multiple small businesses that are being taxed to death by Obama.
Nico is calling me back to the bathysphere. I hope to have more ethical results from under the sea after this trip! Here's to hoping!