Coming together after a period of great instability at the WWF announce table, during which time we were 'blessed' with not only
Vince McMahon himself, but also such luminaries as
Lord Alfred Hayes,
Hacksaw Jim Duggan and
'Rowdy' Roddy Piper,
Gorilla and
Brain quickly became the first great
face play-by-play/
heel colour man team in wrestling history. Indeed, testament to their genius is the simple fact that the WWF is still pushing the same
schtick on us ten years later (
Jim Ross and
Jerry 'The King' Lawler being the greatest exponents since.
Bobby and Gorilla's dynamic usually went something along these lines: Gorilla makes an observation about the match in progress ; Bobby makes a
smart-ass remark, usually derogatory to the
babyface ; Gorilla asks Bobby to stop. Repeat
ad infinitum.
Great Heenan & Monsoon Moments
Monsoon: (Referring to Koko B. Ware's bird, Frankie) "Those birds can live to be twenty-five or thirty years old"
Heenan: "Not in my house"
Monsoon: "I'm sure"
Heenan: "If he was in my house he'd be in a
Shake'n'Bake bag; do you like your parrots original or extra crispy?"
Monsoon: "Will you stop?"
Monsoon: (Referring to a match in progress in Texas) "Well, we'll be right back with a fight that's taking place very near where a big fight occurred many years ago"
Heenan: "You know why there were only 220 Mexicans at the
Alamo?
Monsoon: "Why?"
Heenan: "They only had one car"
Heenan: "Do you know what Koko B. Ware's mom's name is?"
Monsoon: "What?"
Heenan: "Tupper"
Monsoon: "That was an illegal move!"
Heenan: "No it wasn't."
Monsoon: "Yes it was!"
Heenan: "No, it was a legal move, it was a
Greco-Roman Hair Pull."
Heenan: There's gonna be a lot of trouble there in the Macho household.
Monsoon: What are you talking about?
Heenan: Well, he's been reinstated, right? He can wrestle again.
Monsoon: Yes.
Heenan: Who's gonna do the dishes?
Heenan: Right here in Jim Louis Arena.
Monsoon: Joe Louis!
Heenan: Joe Louis, sorry.
Monsoon: Who's Jim Louis?
Heenan: Who's Joe Louis?
Heenan: There's a beautiful section of
Tupelo...18 trailer homes...those are Tupelo condominiums.
Monsoon: Will you STOP?
Heenan: That's the good part of town...notice there were only 38 cars up on blocks.
Heenan: Don't touch that referee,
Perfect!
Monsoon: Why? A disqualification will save his title.
Heenan: O.K. Then nail him!
Heenan: "Death never takes a holiday"
Monsoon: "Where do you get that stuff?"
Heenan: "These things just come to me. Sometimes I feel like I have
two brilliant minds"
(During Von Erich/Warlord match)
Heenan: Warlord's a lot bigger.
Monsoon: Tornado's a lot quicker, Brain.
Heenan: Warlord's a lot stronger.
Monsoon: Tornado's a lot smarter, Brain.
Heenan: Now you've lied to the people.
Heenan: Gorilla, what's with you naming all the body parts?
Monsoon: I happen to have a knowledge about it. Why don't you try it?
(Skinner kicks a jobber in the stomach.)
Heenan: There's a kick to the
uterus.
(Miss Elizabeth walks out to be interviewed by 'Mean' Gene Okerland,who is already standing in position)
Monsoon: "Wow, look at that. Beautiful."
Heenan: "I don't know, he's sort of going bald!"
Monsoon: "And
DiBiase going to work on that damanged
medial collateral lateral ligament of
Hot Rod"
Heenan: "Yeah, he got him right in the cerbial-derbial part of the back"
Monsoon: "Will you be serious?!"
Monsoon: "And listen to the ovation for the
Hulkster!"
Heenan: "You know, Hogan's music is my second favourite song of all time."
Monsoon: "I daren't ask - which one's your favourite?"
Heenan: "All the others are tied."
Monsoon: "Blatant choke there by
The Warlord!"
Heenan: "I don't see anything"
Monsoon: "You need to see your oculist!"
Heenan: "There's nothing wrong with my feet."
Monsoon: "This place is going crazy! Look at the Hulkster pointing to all of his
Hulkamaniacs!"
Heenan: "He's not pointing to anybody, he's showing off how high he can count!"
Monsoon: "And amazing agility from El Matador
Tito Santana, through the ropes!"
Heenan: "You know what they call that move?"
Monsoon: "I don't know, Brain"
Heenan: "The Flying Jalapeno"
Monsoon: "Will you stop?!"
Monsoon: "Highly unlikely you'll pin anyone with a
side headlock. In all my years I've never seen anyone pinned with a side headlock."
Heenan: "I've pinned a couple of guys with it."
Monsoon: "You?"
Heenan: "Sure, I could beat you a million different ways. I once had a guy give up during instructions."
Monsoon: "Will you stop it?"
Monsoon: "What would you do if you were the
Hitman?"
Heenan: "Well, I'd have my agent buy the Title for me. And if that didn't work I'd waffle him out back with a tire iron. I'd get it some way, any way I could."
Monsoon: "We're live in 71 countries...England, Germany, Ireland, Scotland, Italy, and more."
Heenan: "Maybe even
Newark."
Monsoon: "Newark?"
Heenan: "That's a foreign country. So is Indianapolis if you think about it. You know why they're chanting USA? There's a rumor Indianapolis is a foreign country."
Monsoon: (as if Heenan was being the most serious guy in the world) "It is not!"
Heenan: "Instead of being thrown out of the ring, he should've done the pitching."
Monsoon: "Who should have done the pitching?"
Heenan: "T-T-T-T-Ta-tanka. But then again if the
Indians had better pitching they'd be a better team."
Monsoon: "Why don't you stop?"
Heenan: "Did you ever say hello to
Tatanka?"
Monsoon: "Yes."
Heenan: "Did you do it properly?"
Monsoon: "Yes."
Heenan: "You said, "Hey-how-are-ya, hey-how-are-ya"?"
Monsoon: "He does NOT do that!"
Since those glory days, Bobby has lost his mind somewhat and Gorilla tragically passed away in 1999. Together, they made wrestling great, and left a legacy that is responsible for some of the great comedy moments of the grap game.
For more of 'The Brain''s witticisms, see
Great Bobby Heenan Moments