A
doctor once told me this as
actual medical advice once.
Doing a
work physical a few years ago, during the infamous
turn your head and cough test, I started to
whistle tunelessly, to
defuse a
socially awkward situation. My doctor looked up with his
eyebrows knitted together in a
shocked accusing look. "Never do that." he said, blowing his already
sub-par bedside manner. After the test was completed
by the book, he actually stopped a moment and
laughed. I suppose the confused look on my face was enough to prompt an
explanation.
The
turn your head and cough test checks for
hernias. One specific type of hernia can be very readily discovered by this test; the
inguinal hernia. It is a
protrusion of a
loop of
intestine into the
groin or
scrotum through a
hole in the
lower abdominal wall. It is common in baby boys and older men. You can get a inguinal hernia in one of two
interesting ways. You can be born with a
inguinal canal, or you can
rupture your lower abdominal wall by
straining or
lifting heavy objects.
Either way, a loop of intestines suddenly arrives between your
two best friends and you are very
uncomfortable.
The doctor then explained why whistling is a
bad idea. Hernias are usually
muscle related. More specifically, a muscle is
disrupted and the
organ or
tissue it was containing slips into a space it
shouldn't. When you whistle, you are using both the large
intercostal muscle under your ribs as well as changing the
pressure in your
abdominal cavity. Along with that, the muscles of the front of your
abdomen (think
six-pack)
constrict. When you
urinate, the muscles of
groin relax to allow the flow of
urine from your
bladder, which is also
shrinking. I'll let you do the math.
In what I am sure is a story that he
shouldn't have told me, he detailed the
plight of a
confused guy who would whistle while peeing. I suppose he really
enjoyed it or something. Anyway, this poor
fellow would start to urinate and whistle, only to have a
searing pain appear suddenly. When he constricted the
muscles of his groin in response to the pinched loop of
guts getting
irritated, it slipped back, just out of pain
territory. After three or four similar incidences, he finally went to the doctor. A quick trip to the
hospital and he was back to his old self.
I remain
tuneless in the
bathroom.