Originally noded by Gritchka, but transferred here as the people and situations are not of Gritchka's creation.
Here's one they deleted earlier...
THE TALKING FERRET-- by Beachcomber (the satirist J.B. Morton). This is a typical example of the sort of paragraph that would appear in his writings, unconnected to anything before or after.Professor Stowte (since we are in scientific mood today) spent twelve years trying to teach a ferret to talk. He used to hold up a large alphabet before it, and record the noises it made. At the end of twelve years a committee of scientists was summoned to hear the ferret (Palmer was its name) do its stuff. All present agreed that, when bidden goodday, Palmer replied 'Swuth', or words to that effect. Professor Stowte interpreted this as an attempt to say 'Very well indeed, thank you, Professor.' One of the committee, Dr Boldox, wrote a book about Palmer. It was called Ferrets and the Future, and he looked forward to the day when other words beside 'Swuth' would pour in a silvern cascade of melody from the lips of Palmer's descendants.