From the
Book of Fellatio, Chapter
69:
1 And the
LORD did look down upon the
Everythingites and He saw that they were a bunch of
sex-obsessed
pervs.
2 For truly it is
written that all they did ever
node was stuff about
makin' sweet love all night long.
3 But the
noders did
deny the LORD, saying, "
Nuh-uh, we're just writing up
all aspects of the human experience, God-dude!"
4 And
God did
snort derisively. "Thou art so
full of it. Whyfore wouldst thou node about
scoring with toons? And about how you like to
do it?"
5 But the
Everythingites were not
ashamed, and they did say, "Oh LORD, truly,
Jessica Rabbit is so fine!"
6 And the LORD did continue ranting. "And whyfore do you
obsess over
doing it on tables and
naked white-trash actresses turned to stone?"
7 "And truly do you all make
tremendous idjits of thyselves over
jessicapierce's hot ass, when
Bathsheba's is so much
hotter! And how wouldst thou explain
Juliet's entire
noding career?
Anonymous boob server, My
divine ass!"
8 And the noders did become
uncomfortable and
shuffle their
feet, and they did
cry out unto the LORD, saying, "Watch out,
God!
Satan is right behind You! Really, he is!"
9 And the LORD did roll His eyes. "I am not falling for that one again. How
stupid do you think
the LORD your God is?"
10 And
Lucifer did raise his
cloven hoof up and
kick the LORD in the ass,
knocking Him flat on His
face, then did the
Deceiver run away,
giggling.
11 And
God did
holler mightily and chase the
Devil clear to
Ganesh's house, leaving the
Everythingites to peacefully
Node for the Nookie.