Me:
God, do you exist?
God:
Yes.
Me: Er, okay, I wasn't expecting that... Which God are you exactly?
God:
The one that
you believe in.
Me: Oh yeah. Why did you create the
earth then?
God: Well, it's like me having
children - I wanted to see a
creation of mine grow and change.
Me: So the
theory of evolution is untrue?
God: No, the only thing I did actually created was
single celled organisms in the
ocean, a long time ago.
Me: What, so your children were single celled organisms, and by chance we happened to
evolve into
humans?
God: No, I caused them to evolve in the way that they did. I wanted to see if
people would believe in Me and
evolution simultaneously.
Me: Wait a minute, you're saying
the bible isn't a true account of what happened?
God: That's right. It was written by
politicians.
Me: So
Jesus isn't your son?
God: No, he was an
ordinary man, with some
ideas beyond his time.
Me: OK. So are humans your only creation?
God: Well, I have other projects, but they're beyond your
comprehension.
Me: What a cop out! Um, I mean, sorry God, never mind. So where did you, the
supreme being, come from?
God:
I don't know.
Me: But I thought you knew
everything...
God: I know everything about human reality, not everything about
My reality.
Me: I see. Hey I just thought of something - maybe you're only part of my over-active imagination, and don't really exist at all...
[silence]
Me: Hello...? God? Hello?