The idea that at the
creation of the
universe a certain
finite amount of all forms of
measurement throughout the
universe was created, and as one
object grows, another shrinks.
This gives rise to the following solution set:
Problem: You are short.
Cause: You are short because other people are tall.
Solution: Chop off the legs of the people around you making them shorter, and the universe will eventually dole out enough "Height" quality to all other objects throughout it thus causing you to become taller.
N.B.: Works best in heavily populated urban areas.