My Ching! Theory

With the inception of Honor Roll, there is only one thing which chingage provides - Exposure. That ching puts the node in the annals of all nodes chung, shoves it into the Cool User Picks, and possibly even the Cream of the Cool. As a result of this exposure, a righteously good node will receive further upvotes, and those which are not righteous are either ignored or receive the wrath.

There are many phenomenal wus on e2, whether they be fact or fiction, poetry or prose, GTKY or raw data. Regardless of the content, they all have something in common - They're good. They're well written, well formatted. They cover the subject and do it justice, or do it more than justice. And more often that should be, they possess a low rep!

Here is a wonderful node, and for all we know, the author could be looking at it right now, thinking to himself, "What did I do wrong? This node's rep makes it a blight on my otherwise flawless record! Should I nuke it?"

That will not do! Good wus should never see the horror that is Klaproth. Good wus must be lifted onto our shoulders, given a ticker-tape parade, and a free hotel room filled with lots of expensive hookers! Okay, maybe not that last part, but the point is, good nodes must be given due credit.

Some day, I will have the power to ching nodes. I will not waste my valuable chings on Webster's Ralph, they will not flounder on Freenut's Butterfinger McFlurry, and they shall not be squandered on soy. There are beautiful wus out there, wus that have only seen the votes of 3 or 4 persons, yet they deserve so much more. They deserve the exposure given to great nodes, because they are great nodes.

That is what I will ching. It doesn't matter if the wu is in a style that isn't "typically" chinged. Typical is what I want to avoid. Typical is what leads to ruts forming, where people aim for chingage, so they restrict their writing to topics which are more "likely" to be chung. No, I say, I will not do that.

I will use Chings as powerful megawatt X-files flashlights, penetrating the depths of the nodegel to illuminate long-lost, or newly-lost, wus which deserve more. The nodes that I ching will deserve even more than I can offer, but hopefully, by dragging them up from the depths of oblivion, and immortalizing them in the archives, they will get their just desserts.

I will not ching wus that are still listed in New Writeups. I will not ching wus that are already listed in the Cool User Picks at that moment in time - If something I consider ching worthy is still floating there, I will write it down, and wait until it's left the list and people have forgotten about it. That way it will get more exposure, and thus, more potential votage.

Of course none of this means that a node that has 3 or 30 chings already isn't eligible for my lovin'. Oft-times, those nodes also do not have as much praise heaped upon them as they deserve, and I will go out of my way to ching those as well. I don't think there's any upper limit you could place on chings for some wus. Nodes like this, this, and this deserve more upvotes than e2 has total users. They will receive my mark in good time.

And I will smile, content in the knowledge that I have done some good in this place.

Someday.

Someday.

I love the cold.

I like the rain.

Warm Clothing. Hot Chocolate. Big Blankets. All Good

But why does it have to be so fucking dark all the time?!

Before we can screw I need to know the answer to this question...

A girl should ask these three questions before entering into a relationship with a guy:

1. What's your favorite color?
2. What's your favorite food?
3. What's your favorite cup-size?

The last of course can be taken however you want to take it. If the guy replies with a bra size, you know he's driven by sex. If he replies with an athletic cup size... he's batting for the other team. If he replies with "big gulp" he's probably not exactly what you're looking for. Run in fear.

There is also a fourth question every girl should ask her guy. This one is generally considered more important than the other three:

• If a ninja and a samurai were to get into a fight, who would win and why?

The more creative the reason, the better the guy is. It means he's imaginative and will be more fun to hang out with. Let's face it, if you're thinking about sleeping with him, you're probably going to be around him much more often. And an imaginitive guy is better all around, good times will be had by all.

It is important that which ever he picks, the ninja or the samurai, it be whatever you picked. Choosing the same warrior means your minds probably work in a similar way, you're more compatible.

Disclaimer: None of this has been scientifically proven. It is a method employed by a handful of women that I personally know. Although I have not asked the first three questions, I have asked the "Ninja or Samurai" question. I find if nothing else it is an interesting conversation piece and I have enjoyed the creative answers that are presented.

Responses to the ninja or samurai question:

etouffee
Samurai--infinite patience to wait out the ninja and then beat him with his own weapons. Respectfully, of course.

machfive
It's a ninja. Everyone knows that. Logical argument: Ninjitsu was developed as a way for small groups of guerilla forces to overcome the sheer numbers of samurai. "More right" argument: Ninjas do NOT like pancakes, dammit! And everyone knows waffles are superior pancakes. So a ninja will kick the ass of a pancake-eating samurai any day of the week!!

CzarKhan
a samurai would stealth a ninja to death any day. He'd out wait the ninja until it got bored and went off defensive. Then he'd use his mad-wicked samurai majick to make the ninja sleep and take his head. Probably use the head as a soup bowl too, those samurai are bad mo-foes >:#

caknuck
The samurai would win. If the two get into a fight, then it should be assumed that the ninja has lost the advantages of surprise and concealment. In a one-on-one duel, a samurai's armor and superior swordsmanship would prevail.

MacArthur Parker
I think the samurai and the ninja would be beaten by Bill Gates after, unbeknownst to them, Windows XP is installed in their brains and they can't even remember how to defecate. And my favorite cup size is "Antonio Banderas".

shyHyena
The question is meaningless, grasshopper. Someday both will die--but when his day comes, the samurai will die with honor. ;-)

The Lesson for the Day

Never ask a question which you don't want to hear the answer to...

...doubly so when comes to the purity test.

I've trained my friends to trust me when I tell them, "You don't want to know." How ironic then, that I didn't listen to him when he said, a little bashful but relaxed, "Aw, come on man you don't want to talk about that."

During an avalanche huge sheets of snow can break free and turn into a flowing mass speeding down the mountain side. If you don't disturb the snow, it'll stay where it is. But, no, I had to push it.

"Come on, " I said, "What's the point in doing this if you're just gonna take the fifth?"

If I'd listened, I bet I would have heard the rumble, the starting decent. Tons of snow all falling at once, picking up everything in its path: air, more snow, dirt, trees, rocks cars, people.

He still smiled, a little nervous now, "Well, you know about it already anyway. Last halloween..."

I surfed my memory, but nothing stood out about the party. It was a little wild, but that wasn't unsual. I could feel the tremor of the subwoofer - the coming avalanche - beneath my feet. "What about it?"

"Well, you know. That thing with Nancy and me."

My hair stood on end and the snow took me. It filled my mouth, my nose, my mind.

He must have seen it. He sat up, glacing at both doors out of the den in sequence, and then back at me. "She said she'd told you. I mean, she told me she'd told you. ... She didn't tell you, did she?"

I did my best to keep breathing.

"Shit... Look, man, we were both so wasted, I didn't even recognize her until after. I - I wanted to tell you right then, but she said not to. She said you'd take it better if she told you. ... And later she told me you were alright with it but you just didn't want to talk about it with me. I didn't know. I guess I should of known."

I'd had no clue. The boiling snow finally roared to a halt and all the air went out of it, like it does when the snow stops moving. Suddenly, the avalanche turned back into a snow field. Only now I was under that snow field, stuck inside it, immobile, suffocating on my own breath, on the answer to my own question.

This might be the saddest piece of spam I've ever received, even more so than that penis-enlarging thing. Honestly, this doesn't particularly make me want to have sex with these wretched, miserable women. I want to take them out for coffee or a movie or something. Cheer them up, for God's sake.

Though I have to admit that the bit about "someone to hold, or just to be pounded" is pretty hilarious. "Honey, I need to be held. Or just pounded."

Her husband or boyfriend is gone and has left her all alone.... He's neglected her once again... She's sitting there all by herself, feeling very upset and very lonely... She is sick of her own hands rubbing up and and down herself.... She wants someone to come and ravage her and have their way with her... It could be you... Lonely, neglected women are sitting at home all by themselves at this very moment. They are deeply in need of someone, either it be just for company, just to talk, someone to hold, or just to be pounded... they need someone and they need them right now...

Yet another Friday. Nothing much to do so my mind was wandering and I came to a realization about the relationship between people and their logical access passwords.

People usually choose passwords that they can remember easily, and hence it will reveal a part of them. People also tend to be secretive about their logical access and from time to time will use a password that is related to some secret part of them. You can tell what people like to do outside of work, what television shows or movies the like to watch. People will occasionally reveal deeper personality traits or emotional needs.

You can determine who like order in their life, these people will generally synch up all their logical access passwords to match. On the flip side, those who don't care much for order or like to be more secure will have a variety of them. Lazier people will tend to just use different variations on the same password.

These rambling observations have been brought to you by a bored server admin with nothing better to do with his Friday.

How is this for a fucked up 24 hours? Dressed up in drag to a fancy dress party, met Rebecca, my first love, we kissed, went for a walk, talked about things, gazed into each other's eyes, told each other how right we are together, admitted that we both loved each other, returned home to watch the sun come up, sipping red wine, holding hands, falling asleep in each others arms, moment was right, told her, drunkenly and off the cuff how much i wanted to marry her, thinking she would laugh in my face, no, she turns around and tells me that she would love to, we fall asleep on my parents sofa, my dad wakes me up at 8 in the morning, i have to fly from dublin to london to go back to work, leaving the love of my life in an awkward goodbye, i kiss her on the cheek while she sleeps and make for the airport, tears in my eyes. i don't know what will happen between us, but i'm excited. does this mean ReiToei is engaged? Anyway, missed my flight, got on the next one, stung for 75 Euro, had a pint of Carlsberg, bad idea so early in the morning, puked my guts up in the departure lounge toilet for disabled people (always clean), got on the plane, puked again into a sick bag (classy) and totally repulsed the couple on my row.

got 40 minutes sleep on the plane, another half an hour on the tube, straight to work.

fuck, fuck, fuck.

I want to be home with my family. I wanted to cook breakfast for Rebecca when she wakes, hungover. I want to sit around the kitchen table with her and my family and discuss the antics of another St. Stephen's night.

I miss you, damn you for being so damn amazing

Last night I attended a great Boxing Day party. Being Americans though, it really had nothing do to with Boxing Day, other than the fact that it happened to be the day after Christmas and just a good excuse for us to get together and drink our selves silly. It had been drizzling all night. It was great when the rain turned to snow because it was the first real snow of the year. And when I woke up this morning there was four inches still on the ground. It is pretty abnormal to have the first snow so late in the year. Usually we have three feet before Thanksgiving.

These parties have been a long standing tradition, not Boxing Day parties, but the type we happened to have on Boxing Day this year. We've been having them for seven years now, long before a lot of us were "legal" to drink. It was great to get together with everyone, my real family, after spending Christmas Eve and Christmas with my biological family, my in-laws and my brother's in-laws, all but my father.

This summer my father thought it would be fun to move out, divorce my mother and fuck chicks he works with, after 32 years of marriage. The divorce would be final by now if she would only sign the papers. She won't and it looks like it's going to be a long drawn out process. They say the holidays are always the hardest time to deal with this type of thing. It was weird not having my father there but I don't think it was really hard. I'm really not getting very emotional about the whole thing. I guess my mother is doing a good enough job for the both of us.

Today I have to get back to moving. Yes, we're moving in the middle of winter, something we've done before and something that sucks ass to no end. It's just across town, but we still have to pack up all our shite and clean. Cleaning sucks. Moving sucks. Moving with snow on the ground sucks ass. Any questions?

Although this is my first Day Log entry, I really hate people who make a big deal about it so I've decided not to mention it, promise.

IN MEMORIAM

REYNE CUCCURO

DIED THREE FIFTEEN AM
FRIDAY 27TH DECEMBER 2002
TAMPA, FLORIDA

This is a sad day for everyone whose life was touched, and enriched by Reyne.

Tears alone doesn't do her memory justice, but I don't know what will, yet.

I've no doubt that earth has acquired another angel.

But today, now, so sad.

Rest in peace, Reyne.