I feel this bright today as if my eyes are beginning to open from
the
cobwebs of a silent long-
encumbering sleep. The
murky mud of uncertain
patterns has revealed to a small dream on the verge of faith. To hold and
cherish the idea of the possible in mind is in itself reason enough to
strive. As I learn to better
calibrate and bridge with future opportunity,
I shall allow myself to become more in mutlituded form the beautiful
spiral
of
unbound self. And it is supremely only on the manna of your
angelic
surety that I am able to begin this precious bloom ahead beyond all time.
I really am a nice, affectionate, caring person and those who know
me best could not imagine me as anything but so. There is no bit nor ounce
of me which is cruel, mean, or petty in any shape form or way. Because of
this, I am doomed and condemned through so much of life, pained and
aggravated by the frustrations of truth and bitterly aching realities. I
feel so contorted and distorted too much of the time, dragged down and
beaten by the insistent ironies and troubling turmoils of life. It takes
way too much courage and strength to be a profoundly effectively nice
person in spite of all the odds against pure love. We tend to think of the
simply good as lacking in proper character and will, that someone who dares
to go beyond human bindings in heart and soul is actually someone weak,
bland, uninteresting or strange, bizzare, crazy. We feel disconcertingly
weird when someone rhapsodizes us in unconditional adoration. Because any
admirer must inherently be human, we refuse to allow the transcendent
emotion of others to conduit with our more vulgar realities. We feel that
unexplained, perhaps even undeserving affection is not specific enough to
us, that it might as well be showered upon any one at all. And perhaps in
the abstract it could and should; but to find some nexus of actuality where
the invisible potentials for genuine relation can connect in a spark of
splendor is truly too great to give up on altogether. The challenge,
really, is to try to learn what we can through the pain of an open
existence that we may better tune and temper our souls to the
multi-dimensional music subtly discernable amid the cacophony of mutual
living. It is in this, my dear, where you grace me most profoundly with a
dance of celestial rhapsody, time after time until all time is condensed in
one sweet drop of joy.
Let's make this the most splendid lifetime ever!
Mantram