Welcome back to My Everything2, ariels (if you are not ariels, please [click here])!
For your convenience, we've stored a small text file (or "cookie") on your computer (and we're paying nothing for renting your disk space; our CFO says this is really cool!) which identifies you to our Internet (or "website", to use the nerd-correct term).
In accordance with our privacy policy, we use this "cookie" to store only a small number of items of valuable (to us) personal information:
- Your full name.
- Your parents' names.
- Your mother's maiden name (but only to generate a password hint!)
- Your pets' names.
- Dates of birth of all the above.
- Your credit card number.
- Your other credit card number.
- Your browsing history.
- Your reading habits on this site.
- Sites which referred you to this site.
- And other items of similar nature.
Your privacy is important to us!
So if you're not ariels, you should go away right now and help us try to clean up our act and eliminate any incriminating evidence of our incompetence from your computer.
How we ensure you really are ariels
Maybe ariels was logged in from the same place and forgot to log out. Since we want to keep his personal data forever, the "cookie" we gave him never expires.
Or, more likely, it's not ariels' fault but the fault of one of our idiot programmers. You see, the CFO insisted we employ only junior programmers with no knowledge of data security. As Bruce Schneier likes to point out, you can't add security to a system, you have to build it in. We didn't bother with that because it would take too long (and frankly we're not interested; it's ariels' problem, not ours or yours). So it often happens (and evidently it just did) that "secure" personal information is left in the hands of somebody else.
Or maybe ariels did click, but nothing happened. These things happen. I mean, why are you so mean to me? It's just a bug. We get bugs all the time, here!
So please click the button. Or don't. Our personal data isn't on the site; just ariels'
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No warranty, express or implied. Under no circumstances will E2WDC be considered responsible for its actions.
Not void even if prohibited by law. By reading the text you agree to be legally bound to the conditions.
No resemblance to any Internets (or "websites", to use the advanced IQ190 term), living or dead, was intended. The author has never seen the text on a website. Or if he has, and if he wasn't the intended mark, he immediately clicked in the hope of erasing the personal data.
Not that it helped.