Magic items of limited practical use

• Bracers of Ale Consumption: Permit the wearer to cosume d10 (Imperial) pints of ale more than they would normally be able with no ill effects.
  WARNING: Use of these magical artifacts in dwarven drinking contests has been outlawed, and is punishable by disqualification followed by semi-immediate defenestration, should any windows be available.

• Axe of Gratuitous Violence (cursed): Upon inspection, this appears to be a +2 Axe, 2-handed. Any character attempting to wield it, however, must make a saving throw vs charm or succumb to the curse. They will ALWAYS attack the nearest visible creature, friend or foe, and will stop only when no living creatures (other than themselves) remain in the vicinity. A Remove Curse spell is required to enable the character to unequip the weapon.

• Helm of Insufficient Light: When worn, this helm will emit just enough light for the character to be able to see 1.5' in front of them.

• Wand of Fireball, Short-Range: Enables the user to cast Fireball at any target up to 19' away.

• An old favourite, the Sword of Complete and Utter Destruction: Kills everything within a 3-mile radius. Yes, everything. :)

• Pouch of Theoretical Infinite Wealth: Generates 1 copper coin per day.

• Potion of Flatulence: Does exactly what it says on the tin.

• Throwing Axe of Returning (cursed): Returns at exactly the same velocity at which it was thrown. Cannot be disposed of except via a Remove Curse spell.

• Runes of Illegibility: Anything written in these runes cannot be understood by anyone. Ever.

Hohum. Always fun when a certain character gets on your nerves and you just want to smite them in the best possible way...

• Boots of Magnetude: Has a magnetic field radius of about 5 feet. Full plate armour and large shields are NOT advised while wearing these. Try going into a crowded street with these on!
• The Blessed Armour of Irony (cursed): This is a fun one. The name is engraved on the side, but has no use whatsoever. It gives the same protection as studded leather. It cannot be taken off. EVER. Immune to all remove curse spells. Should only be reserved for those truly annoying players/characters.
• Bow of regressivity (cursed): Same as usual, just backwards.
• (Insert element here)-proof Shield: Resistant to one elemental type of attack/spell and extremely crap against everything else.
• Radar helmet: Makes a very loud sound when detecting a hostile creature/person/deity within 50 metres.
• Cape of death: Everyone the character touches dies. Think the midas touch, except more gruesome. Should only be reserved for those players with limited intelligence.
• Helmet of Enhanced Vision (cursed): Increases the amount of light entering and leaving the eye, making things brighter 24/7 (including the day). Can only be removed with a remove curse spell.
• Boots of faster than light travel: Know what happens to the body when/if it achieves faster than light speed? *Vroom* *Distinegrate*
• Combustion Armour: It's surprisingly light, is stronger than plate armour and anyone can wear it. Spontaneously combusts every so often.
• Wand of Anti-matter: Creates a black hole.
• Cape of All-seeing: You glow with intense brightness, so everyone can see you.
• Belt of Consciousness (cursed): Reduces the amount of sleep needed (i.e. fatigue is less often experienced) but you cannot go to sleep without taking it off. Requires a remove curse to take off. When taken off, you fall asleep and cannot be woken up without the appropriate wake spell.
• Cape of bats: You have the ability to fly, but you cannot see in the day and only one metre in front of you at night. Can go up to 50/60 mph in the air. "I'm a bird! I'm a plane! I'm a - " CRACK!
• The singing sword: It sings while you have it out. Pick really annoying songs and blast them on the stereo while it's in use for maximum effect (or, even better, sing them yourself really badly on a karaoke machine!).
• Wand of dragon summoning: Summons a 50 foot dragon (colour of your choice). Never said it was on your side.