Luckily, we
evil anarchists have already
resurrected
Daniel Faulkner! See, here he is now! Ya wanna say anything to the nice Everythingians, Dan?
Daniel Faulkner: "Brains!"That's
nice, Daniel. We've got ol' Dan hard at work,
stalking, eating the
brains of, and
zombifying other
cops -- oh, and
Canadian-Australian-Chinese trolls, too, so
DMan won't feel left out. We've also got
Mr. Faulkner doing a little
cooking and
light housework, 'cause really, he's not very good at
stalking cops. He keeps
tripping over his own
intestines and dribbling little pieces of -- Daniel, please get your
ear out of the
soup, okay?
Daniel Faulkner: "Brains!"Never mind. I've lost most of my
appetite. Anyway, some of you other
ambitious young anarchists may be wondering how to raise a
zombie army of your own. Well, here's the
basic formula: Get yourself a
dead Tool of the Man, lay it out inside a
pentagram,
sprinkle the body with
Eye of Newt,
Bat's Blood, and
Lik-M-Aid, and recite the
mystical phrase "
Git up, boah! There's vittles on the stove!" The
dead, being naturally
hungry and
vulnerable to the
exhortations of
Southerners, quickly jump up and start looking for
delicious brains to
feast on. Right, Daniel?
Daniel Faulkner: "Brains!"And as it turns out, we've had great
success with other
Tools of
the Man, as well. Ready for
dinner, Mark?
Mark Fuhrman: "Brains!"