Schnell &
Sauber is a chain of
German laundromats where I have spent many an unhappy hour among
devices designed by Satan himself. Schnell & Sauber means
fast and
clean. Yes, this place will clean you out, fast.
Thoughtfully, the vending machine which distributes the
smart cards (required by all the washing machines) works in three
languages,
English,
German and
Turkish. Unfortunately, the
posters on the wall, the
washing machines themselves, the
dryers and the powder
vending machine are only in German.
If that weren't quite
bad enough, the user interface was designed by an
evil genius to be incomprehensible to even German-speakers. When the screen displays the words "eject card," this means "insert money to add to the value of your card, then eject card." When
the machine is out of cards, the "issue
new card" option disappears completely.
Was it ever really there?. When there is no
washing powder available, your card will still be deducted the
50 pfennig for the powder, but nothing will happen. Is that washing machine is
out of order? It costs 4
Deutsche marks to find out. If a dryer is
kaputt and running
cold, you still get charged, but you have to wait 40 minutes to find out.
Oh yeah, and never put more than 10 marks
on your card, because the cards tend to fail after about 5 uses. At least "
checksum error" is something I can understand!