Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "The Greek philosopher, as invented by a dozing bootblack in 1902 who understood nothing about philosophy. Aristotle ditched the Greek costume, shaved the beard, and opened a bar, 'cause philosophy don't pay fer shit."

• Stasis, Change and Atoms in Ancient Greek Philosophy
• Human Nature in Chinese and Greek Philosophy: External or Internal?
• Early Greek philosophy and Logos
• Theology in ancient Greek natural philosophy
• Ancient Greek Philosophy
• Who i think about when i dont want to smile
• Greek studs: a Foucauldian sideways glance at Aristotle's package
• i don't spend a lot of time thinking about what it feels like to be gored by a chainsaw
• Don't force your not forcing one's philosophy on others philosophy on me
• Don't force your Christmas philosophy on me
• Relatively Unknown Famous Greek Philosophers
• Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
• Being solicited for sex by people who don't even know your gender
• The most important concept passed on to the American government by the Greeks
• Love at first sight OR Girls who are Boys who bring thoughts of philosophy and anthropomorphic hermaphrodism: A Story
• When discussing philosophy, please don't mention The Matrix
• I will REMOVE your "All your radical touching base are already occurred to the lesbian monkey puppy" philosophy on me if you don't eat my soy google balls, hatt-baby. Real or malarky?
• Your radical ideas about philosophy have already occurred to others
• Don't be seduced by the taco bar
• Presocratic Greek Philosophers
• Philosophy: Who Needs It
• There's nothing more annoying than to try to rebel against someone who's totally supportive about whatever you want to do
• Pragmatism by William James: Lecture I: The Present Dilemma in Philosophy
• Don't You (Forget About Me)
• Those who are as a light in the darkness shall ever be troubled by moths
• In this moment I'm focused on my own emotions. I don't care about how you feel. I can't.
• Dos and Don'ts For Talking to Children About Abuse
• People who don't capitalize their I's
• 25 Albums I Love By Bands and Artists Who I Would Not Love Otherwise
• The best part about you is that you don't even know how great you are
• Old man who lived by the crick
• And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music
• People on the dance floor who don't dance
• Guys who don't tell you they have a girlfriend
• don't judge a book by its movie
• I wish I cared about the things you cared about but I don't.
• Men who are willing to listen to women talk about their periods
• Judging women by their books
• no words about nothing at all
• Much Ado About Nothing
• Worry not about the cars that go by
• A Book about Me, by Me Myself
• Actors who have portrayed the parent(s) of a character portrayed by Ben Stiller
• The difference between reply and reply to all
• 100% of people who don't smoke, die
• Women who don't realize they're pregnant until they give birth
• Dogs are for wimps who don't have the guts to bite people themselves
• And if terrorists wanted to communicate secretly, mightn't they just do so by collaborating on a 'draft' here at e2? Can the NSA check on our drafts? Who knows? Inquiring minds want to know, Jay!
• I don't feel the same way about you
• No One Gives a Shit about You Angelheaded Hipsters
• It's gone, aint nothing you can do about it now
• People who get worked up about misspelling Colombia
• A man who is about to become a wizard is a great source of trouble
• All About Nothing
• I don't know why but I always love episodes without words. like just something about them makes me feel calm or something..
• I don't know about that fellow Rand, but I'd never trust a McNally.
• God is a pretty girl across the bar who smiles and waves in your direction; and you think she is waving at you
• Dream Caused by the Flight of a Bee around a Pomegranate, One Second before Awakening
• The Scots Confession: Chapter 18
• Much Ado About Nothing I.i
• Why don't we try to destroy tropical cyclones by nuking them?
• every horse can be tamed by someone. but they don't always live at the same time.
• Don’t worry, this is only a costume that makes me look like an adult
• I don't want my magic anymore. It has only caused me problems.
• I don't need to be loved by you
• ALL WHO STAND IN MY WAY WILL DIE, BY STEEL!!!!!!!
• Questions for those who don't like capitalism
• People who don't smoke will never die
• The problem with having parents who don't fully understand computers
• people who don't exist
• I don't care. I like who I am because of it.
• For every rich man who tries to leave this world for a better one with his fancy tomb surrounded by mourners, there are many more who perish alone in the cold, forgotten by all but God.
• This is a poem I wrote about nothing in particular
• there's nothing special about love or heartbreak
• Theories about the future that make you think "Holy shit, I'm scared!"
• Now that I have nothing resembling a desk, I am allowing myself a node to fantasize about one
• i don't want to think about it anymore
• Somewhere there is a syphilitic prostitute who is going to tell me about India
• Snatched away, like the Lindberg baby, who everyone talked about, which explains my lifelong fear of ladders.
• A lie only hurts when it's told by people you care about
• we who are about to die salute you
• For someone who writes about love as much as I, writing about it when it's real sure is hard.
• People who carp about their jobs
• Andycyca thinks about a topic he knows nothing about
• people got a lot of ideas about who i am
• most people don't know what they're talking about anyway
• fifteen words about nothing
• Supporting your views on modern social dynamics by citing anthropology
• Aristotle's Causes
• by people who know what salsa should taste like
• Gays don't need us heteros to propagate gay stereotypes; they're doing just fine by themselves
• Don't judge a band by the single
• If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.
• When being chased by CIA trainees, don't mention Belgium to the waffle house physicist
• Woken up by footsteps of people who weren't there
• You don't get to be a wizard by collecting bottlecaps
• Don't judge a book by its lover
• 1970's fashions (by someone who wore 'em)
• What do girls think about guys who think about what other people think about girls and what they do?
• I'm not a dyke just 'cause I shaved my head, but if it keeps certain people away, fuckin' A right on
• We who do not have regular names spend a lot of time by ourselves. It suits us.
• I don't want a terrorist fighting for my cause
• Take off your band-aid, 'cause I don't believe in touchdowns
• Don't drink and park, accidents in cars cause people
• The one guy who went to Australia instead of Austria by mistake
• Sitting next to strangers who fall asleep by me for no reason. Trusting rhythm. An odd intimacy, train trips.
• Capitalize, please
• Don't talk about your mamma like that
• Don't shit where you eat
• I don't know who Amber is, but she's got a stalker
• Actors who don't speak the language of the movie they're in
• Girls who go home with you when they don't even know your name
• If I don't save the wee turtles, who will?
• But I don't want to pay for the obese smoking couch potato
• I don't acknowledge your existence either. Don't worry about it.
• We don't pay you to think. We pay you to know.
• I don't give a DAMN about your character
• those who don't fit into the herd are always recognized
• She who leaves men as flaming wrecks in the ditch on the side of the road in her wake, yea, even submarines
• The Who By Numbers
• Doctors know nothing about drugs
• "Ha ha," says the Israeli voter to the American voter, "don't talk to me about the lesser of two evils."
• You can learn a lot about a person by how they act at an Airport
• Who cares about a bunch of people in Austria
• Don't Worry About the Government
• Nothing new about Ancient Greece will be learned until the Vatican is plundered
• Just a NoCal noder party - nothing to get excited about, unless you count the fire
• There is nothing left to cry about
• There's nothing noble about being a soldier
• I don't care about the air
• It is a strange thing to wake up every day and do things you care nothing about
• Relax, don't think about the way that I treat you
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• All about a Bombay dance bar.
• Don't tell me about her
• If you're going to complain about store policy, don't do it to the employees!
• Tell me what you don't like about yourself.
• This Is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About
• talking shit about a pretty sunset
• sometimes i wonder about people who snap at strangers
• Nothing to worry about here! though It will come after a while.
• This story about a misanthropist is not about who you think it is about
• 23 Things They Don't Tell You About Capitalism
• Much Ado About Nothing I.ii
• Don't think about it
• he knew that victory is not about who is standing after the fight
• The bored who complain
• Find someone who dreams about people like you
• When's the last time you cared about Lenny Kravitz? A) 1991 B) never C) Who?
• Thinking you know more about computers than the tech you just called
• I will fucking REMOVE your writeups about Cloud Strife and how he's cool and mysterious and shit
• i dream about the ones who are gone
• It's hard to be enthusiastic about music with someone who physically sneered at Hamilton
• How to argue about something you don't know literally a single thing about
• i could write a book about the things i don't know
• small intimate talk about nothing
• Don't ask me about the half life of love
• Technology is not the remedy for problems caused by technology
• Wandering about with keys dangling from an oversized shoelace around your neck
• Don't judge a book by its cover
• If you care only about you, and I care only about you, who cares aout me?
• Things invented by the French
• These women who must live like the high Sierra white pine, fed somehow by the alpine wind
• The guy who may as well already be dead and therefore doesn't care about the consequences of his actions and is able to move with perfect freedom for the remainder of what will likely be a tragically short life
• If you complain about the content of the news, you are deluded about its purpose
• Don't judge music by the first listen
• A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing
• Technology is the remedy for problems caused by technology
• London Beckoned Songs about Money Written by Machines
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• A God Pleased By The Odor Of Burning Flesh; A God Who Burns Human Flesh, Eternally
• On getting blown up 8000 miles from home by a man who does not own shoes
• So then I tried staring into the abyss, but it got distracted by a weasel and ditched me
• The Tragedy of Prince Hamlet and the Philosopher's Stone, or, A Will Most Incorrect to Heaven by William Shakespeare
• On reading letters that bitch about scantily-clad models on magazine covers
• Don't Pass Me By
• Three Puerto Rican girls walked by like accordion music under the trees, looking like they'd accept nothing less than perfection.
• So says the preacher man, but... I don't go by what he says

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