The
Shade Philosophy is being
written because so many people have
bugged me about
wearing shades all the time that the
answer has become
permanently embedded in my
brain and I have to
get it out before it causes a
brain cloud or
spontaneous combustion or something.
Most of the
answer is obvious: I'm very
light-sensitive, due partially to light coloring and partially to a
Transylvanian heritage. I can't
drive during the day without shades, and
direct sunlight gives me a headache. And yes,
fashion mongers, I do know that dark
Terminator shades look a little funny on a little blonde
white girl, but I have to have dark lenses and
wraparounds, ok?!
Er...sorry about that.
I also don't like the
daytime sky at all; looking at it gives me the
heebie-jeebies. Ever stare at a blue sky for awhile? It quickly becomes apparent that it's
not there, and the blue loses all it's
depth and
substance, and now you feel like there's a sheet of
vaguely reflective plastic-wrap keeping you from being out in space. No, I do not like the day sky. The
night sky is at least honest.
And sometimes I wear them
indoors, and probably 90% of the time this is not because it's
too bright inside for me. I can stand most
bright light as long as it's not
sunlight. I just find that sometimes
wearing shades help take the
this-is-totally-real edge off the world. When everything is
dimmed like that, it helps remind you that
sense is still
primarily a controlled illusion; that
everything is transitory; and it even induces the
miracle-cure perception that all this shit probably isn't that important anyway. I like
reminders not to
sweat the little shit.
Shades can do that.