The World

In the Rider-Waite Tarot deck, the Major Arcanum numbered 21. Signifies integrity, solution, contribution, fulfillment.

Aleister Crowley's description:

The essence of the question itself. Synthesis. The end of the matter. Delay. Opposition. Inertia. Perseverance. Patience. The crystallization of the whole matter involved.

Your description/thoughts/experiences:

In Christian theology, can refer either to the Earth, God's creation of which we are to be faithful stewards; or (more commonly) to the combination of animal and diabolical influences that rule human existence post-Fall, and which are opposed to the will of God. (As in "The World, the Flesh, and the Devil.")

Chapter Thirteen -- The World

1. Follow not the vulgar way; live not in
   heedlessness; hold not false views; linger not
   long in worldly existence.
   
2. Arise! Do not be heedless! Lead a life
   of good conduct. The righteous live happily both
   in this world and the next.
   
3. Lead a life of good conduct. Lead not a
   base life. The righteous live happily both in this
   world and the next.
   
4. One who looks upon the world as a
   bubble and a mirage, that person the
   King of Death does not see.
   
5. Come! Behold this world, which is like
   a decorated royal chariot. Here fools flounder,
   but the wise have no attachment to it.
   
6. One who having been heedless is heedless
   no more, illuminates this world like the moon
   freed from clouds.
   
7. One who by good deeds covers the evil
   one has done, illuminates this world like the moon
   freed from clouds.
   
8. Blind is this world; here only a few
   possess insight. Only a few, like birds escaping
   from a net, go to the realms of bliss.
   
9. Swans fly on the path of the sun; people
   pass through the air by psychic powers; the wise
   are led away from the world after vanquishing
   Mara and his host.
   
10. For liars who have violated the one
    law (of truthfulness), who hold in scorn the
    hereafter, there is no evil that they cannot do.
    
11. Truly, misers fare not to heavenly realms;
    nor, indeed, do fools praise generosity. But
    wise persons rejoice in giving, and by that
    alone do they become happy hereafter.
    
12. Better than sole sovereignty over the
    earth, better than going to heaven, better even
    than lordship over all the worlds is the fruition
    of Stream-entry.
    

Some are the brothers of all humankind,
 And own them, whatsoever their estate;
And some, for sorrow and self-scorn, are blind
 With enmity for man's unguarded fate.

For some there is a music all day long
 Like flutes in Paradise, they are so glad;
And there is hell's eternal under-song
 Of curses and the cries of men gone mad.

Some say the Scheme with love stands luminous,
 Some say 't were better back to chaos hurled;
And so 't is what we are that makes for us
 The measure and the meaning of the world.