Findings:
- The early worm gets the bird
- The early bird gets the worm
- If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.
- The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
- It did not get nicer, but it sure got a hell of a lot more honest
- i call my phone and i check my messages, but i don't have any messages
- The eyes of the dead may not blink, but they have been known to wander
- Living well is only the best revenge if they don't have a fuckable sibling
- Stoned music memories
- It would have been an excellent story but I had to get off the train
- I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
- Ernie and Bert are not gay. They're puppets. They don't even have legs.
- She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
- I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
- Don't ever lie. If you lie to your friends, they won't trust you, and you'll have nothing, and you'll never be safe.
- you have ghosts. where are they? are they so deep that the light cannot reach them? is there any such place?
- Now there's revolution but they don't know what they're fighting
- You need a license to have a dog, but any idiot can have a child
- I Love Them But They Don't Love Me
- They call you heartless, but you have a heart, and I love you for being ashamed to show it. You are ashamed of your flood, while others are ashamed of their ebb.
- Things they don't teach you at law school but really ought to
- Just when you get really good at something, you don't need to do it any more
- I might not believe in God, but I sure as hell believe in the power of prayer
- may you make mistakes large enough to learn from, but small enough that they do not destroy you
- My finger can point to the moon, but my finger is not the moon. You don't have to become my finger, nor do you have to worship my finger. You have to forget my finger, and look at where it is pointing.
- Why girlfriends get annoyed when they remember things you don't
- I don't have any secrets. Now ask me if I have any lies.
- you don't have to eat your dinner but you pay for your plate
- I don't know where he gets his words but I like them
- There's a sign on the wall. But she wants to be sure. Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
- I don't think I realized what I had gotten myself into, but it seemed like the potential for fun and insanity were there in equal parts
- every horse can be tamed by someone. but they don't always live at the same time.
- Car commercials that won't let you have any fun
- The bastards got me but they won't get everybody
- The FOOLS! They laughed at my theories at the university, but I'll have my revenge! I'll have my REVENGE!
- Can I play with your breasts? Yes, but don't get out of the yard.
- Of course they want to come here. Who doesn't? Besides the people from Los Angeles, but we don't speak of them.
- My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
- Rape committed by women
- We don't have time for this. None of us have time for any of this.
- Don't trust Elves; they may want to be your friends
- She really does want to clap along, but at the same time she doesn't want to let the bird get out.
- Where do dogs get their Vitamin C from, when they don't eat fruits?
- English may be a "living language," but Latin is not -- so get it right.
- We don't have time. Not like they do.
- They don't get it. Let them suffer.
- Guys who don't tell you they have a girlfriend
- I may not have had enough of me but I've had enough of you
- 1991-96 were more fun years, but I'll likely get more accomplished in the year 2000 alone
- "Of course humans aren't intelligent. They don't even have glurbleflukers. If you can't glurblefluke, you're not sentient."
- Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
- I have to get up early and do laundry so I can wear something nice to the weirdo sex club
- World, take care of me. You don't owe it to me, but I don't know any better.
- i always want to go back. but i don't know if it's time yet. i have some things i have to do.
- Badgers? We ain't got no badgers. We don't need no badgers. I don't have to show you any stinking badgers!
- I may have cellulite, but I can still put my ankles behind my head
- Things you don't want to hear (but will) when you get into bed with a girl
- Apple may have bought NeXT, but NeXT took over Apple
- When you have a trip planned, but don't go, you need to cancel your reservations
- They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
- I don't have a soul. But something still hurts.
- You don't have any real problems
- Take it til you make it, break it if you have to, but don't ever fake it.
- I may be cold and calculating, but that doesn't make me a computer
- What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
- But I don't want to be Princess Leia!
- I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
- when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
- They try to be quiet but you know they are there with their weird coppery breath.
- You want to reassure her, but you don't know where to start
- I don't believe in God or the soul but these machines can make me cry
- I'm at the station, but I can't get on the train
- The tattoo phenomenon
- I don't want to wear your skin, but I will if I catch you!
- Figures don't lie, but liars can figure
- their eyes meet for the first time, but they saw each other's hearts
- I'm not religious, but I think I have a close relationship with God
- They are all pretty but fading.
- That man has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
- It doesn't get any better than this
- In Which Ethel Gao Gets Off His Butt and Accepts the Call
- I'd love to stay and let you break my heart, but I have laundry to do
- He thinks I don't, but I do
- My library books are late, but I don't care
- But, my dear sir, if you educate them, they will no longer be Baptists
- I may dream in technicolor, but I trip the fuck out in old-school black and white
- I thought ALL women looked for a wedding ring when they talked to ANY man
- These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
- Perhaps pain will stop me where good sense and virtue have failed
- They know me not by name, but numbers
- There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how
- I've lost my memory but I have ink, so.
- I don't know if these are good flowers or bad flowers, but I picked them for you
- Your radical ideas about many things have already occurred to others but have never been articulated in a fashion so accessible to current generations
- I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
- Sex just walked by me, and I didn't get any, dammit
- Does war have any redeeming features?
- At least things can't get any worse
- He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
- Don't lament but rather embrace the removal of human interaction
- Opposites may attract, but is it a good idea?
- No, but I'll have a beer
- Talking like a pirate is fun but annoys people
- I'm gay, but I'm not sure it's genetic
- Never imagine you have any idea what you're attracted to
- They wrote it all in perl but it was mostly system calls
- If you don't know where you're going, any path will take you there
- We don't look for trouble but if it comes we don't run
- A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true
- I would have tried, but Charlotte kept Charlotte in the world of Charlotte and she barely heard me
- Any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father
- I may be young, but I'm not naive
- You may be a noder, but you ain't no dancer
- But I have seen the sun just once
- Men may cry "Peace! Peace!" but there is no peace
- They blew up the world, but what really pisses me off
- Starving in the greenhouse
- Do not mourn the day, for the sun shall rise, but you may not
- I love you but I have to let you go
- How to be a moron in any city but Baltimore
- 'C' may be for cookie, but that's not good enough for me, dammit!
- Sticks and stones may break your bones, but the tongue will crush you
- I know it's boring to go on about it, it bores me to sleep, but what the hell, why doesn't it fade
- but the worm ended up killing them too
- You can put your boots in the oven, but that don't make them biscuits.
- I will have her forever but I can't touch her
- But I don't want to pay for the obese smoking couch potato
- I don't agree with what you say, but I will defend your other, less ludicrous opinion that glitch speed runs are pointless.
- I would kiss you, but I don't know how to kiss
- They were looking for God but found religion instead
- And then they came for me, but the bridge would not ignite.
- The Story of Augustus who not have any Soup
- but don't take my word for it
- I wish I cared about the things you cared about but I don't.
- You don't see the light at the end of the tunnel now, but it's there. I'm holding it for you.
- Just when scratch pads couldn't get any better... (document)
- People tell us who they are, but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
- Someone has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
- You don't know me, but someday you will
- Your heart may be broken, but the world still rotates my dear friend
- The terrorists have already won "ANY BREAKFAST BAGEL SANDWICH" at McDonald's!
- Once and somewhere far away I might have found peace, but now I can't live without this city.
- But I Don't Want To Take Over The World
- I didn't read it but I want to get into the author's pants
- But what are they really thinking?
- Look, I don't mean to be an asshole or anything, but...
- Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me
- Don't litter, but go ahead and throw your cigarette butt on the ground
- This Star Wars sheet may be worth something, but I just need a tablecloth
- I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
- Come back safe; we don't want any dead heroes in this family
- Our hearts were hard, but they were warm
- Self importance doesn't get you into heaven any more
- Don't take any guff from those swine
- Being a dickhead
- I don't know who Amber is, but she's got a stalker
- I may be a trenchie bitch, but you forget we wear combat boots!
- Keep doing it, but don't call it that
- I can't get published, but this crap can
- I Meant to have but Modest Needs
- Jessica, too tall but still lovely, was not sure she would or should drop the whale
- because I have given up any care
- I appreciate your concern for others, but I need to get all my ducks in a row first.
- I always knew I would have a 21st birthday but I never thought I'd be 21
- How to develop one side of your butt and still have the other one flabby
- You can, but you may not
- the desert was once alive, but I don't remember it
- So says the preacher man, but... I don't go by what he says
- They do not know how immortal, but I know
- He may be a son-of-a-bitch, but he is our son-of-a-bitch
- I get knocked down, but I get up again
- Spikey the Werm may be a Werm, but he's got quite an imagination nonetheless!
- I'd ask, sure, I'd ask. But then, then you could say no.
- Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
- Swim with the fishies, but remember you have wings
- I may be lying in the gutter, but I am looking up at the stars
- I don't Daylog but I'm Daylogging
- I can't get a girlfriend but my dog has a harem
- The Firestone dealership was full to the brim with cars. But I reasoned I would need a boat, since my desire was to go to Ireland. Just then a harsh reminder surfaced; water is expensive in hell.
- Pirates and ninjas: why they should be friends but can't be
- War is hell but men like it
- Cheers, my lips have frozen but hemlock goes down easy
- But alas, I have no badger to offer you
- I suppose I could have married a World Cup soccer player, but I didn't
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