Findings:
- The Abridged Edition: She was to one side, he was to the other, an untested bridge between them
- That's Just How He Was
- When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
- The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
- Jesus said, "I love him, for he is my brother." He was talking about everyone.
- It was 1992. He smiled.
- How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
- He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
- The Trial: Andrew Johnson was not guilty of the crimes for which he was impeached.
- Wheresoever he went, there was Eden
- He Was Only Joking
- He was found
- He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
- When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
- "He was a terrible man," she sobbed, between bites of alimony
- He was an ant on an ill-defined mission. She was the trapdoor spider of love.
- She was coming out as he was going in.
- Shaymus is older than I thought he was
- I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
- he was alive, and some of the other people, they were carbon copies
- He was hard in all the wrong places
- He was a man stuck between the objective and the subjective
- I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
- He thinks a path and travels the emptiness that was there
- She had become a mutton for punishment and he was a wolf
- Then again, maybe he was recruiting for a cult
- More than he was willing to give
- As I looked back, he was reveling in his own feces
- So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
- He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
- It was late when he came home; it woke you up
- The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
- All he left her was alone
- He was the kind of man who shacked up for shelter
- Tom, He was a Piper's Son
- He was like the bottle of Champagne Krug
- The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
- She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
- At least he was gentle
- The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
- he listened so well, he was still curious.
- He wasn't programmed to be a tenor, he was programmed to be a physician!
- he was a punk poet himself
- When I was 21, he was building a Time Machine
- I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
- He was there, and then he wasn't, and with him went those memories
- making certain he was touching her
- Once there was a bug in a hole that he dug
- In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
- some say he was never here at all
- He Was a Crook
- All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
- I married him because he was not mean
- Mr. Lunch liked to chase birds. In fact, he was a professional.
- He stretched out his arms but she was not there
- He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
- She grew a little older, while he was telling her
- He dreamt he was a bulldozer, she dreamt she was alone in an empty bed
- He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
- Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
- An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
- It was hormones, it was hormones, but it was valid
- Why I didn't get my driver's license until I was 18
- I was once stranded on a desert island
- It was a dark and stormy night
- I was expecting it to hurt like a fuck
- Back when grunge was still cool
- The first iron-on transfer I made myself was controversial
- I died for Beauty -- but was scarce
- Was Jesus resurrected as the Easter Bunny?
- How Candide Was Obliged to Leave the Fair Cunegund and the Old Woman
- Why I was convinced I would die young
- The Story of the Envious Man and of Him Who Was Envied
- Upon my indulgence, I was dissatisfied
- I was looking for you
- How was your trip to London, Dan?
- if music was a woman you would have a mistress
- Once, everyone was a computer novice
- The Princess who was Hidden Underground
- Was I nearly as anti-consumerism as I had initially thought?
- Why was Cthulhu blue?
- And the sky was made of amethysts
- I was once stranded on a dessert island
- my only pin-up was Pelé
- It wasn't like I was sleeping anyway
- Dawn was a lucky time to give birth
- I wonder when I learned to smile when I was being hurt
- As I Was Going to St Ives
- When that cow would walk it was like she was dancing
- hodgepodge was just a one-night stand, apparently
- They wrote it all in perl but it was mostly system calls
- So I was cold chillin on the corner on a hot summer's day
- So I turned round and there was an inflatable man sat at the table
- What was the question?
- You Forget Sometimes There Was Sunshine Back Then
- There was a time when I was a better person
- I was promised flying cars
- Which of the Bewitched Dicks was gay?
- Nobody cares if it was originally a nodeshell
- was
- Vancouver, Washington
- Music was better in the old days
- Descartes was wrong
- It was not a weather balloon at Roswell
- A poem I wrote when I was 5
- Trompe
- The cactus that told me my mom was asleep
- It was you, Atthis
- The world was designed for giant squid
- The day I realized what being alive was
- I was a young boy that had big plans
- Man was created in God's image
- Here lies one whose name was writ in water
- It was not a dream
- I was searching glass
- This product was tested on cute, furry animals with big, sad eyes
- I was going to marry Marty
- If the King's English was good enough for Jesus
- There was a young lady of Riga
- No important data was harmed by the ILOVEYOU worm
- The Story of the Vizier Who Was Punished
- WoOz: 17 How the Balloon Was Launched
- Calvin Coolidge was the 30th President
- I was aghast, yet intrigued
- I Hear it was Charged Against Me
- It was all God's fault
- Concrete, Washington
- Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few
- Oxygen was the world's first pollutant
- I'll tell you what kind of guy I was
- There was a rose that faded young
- I was taken by a honeymoon scam
- Born with the gift of laughter, and a sense that the world was mad
- The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
- That Was Then, This is Now
- I was never any good at maths at school
- when you asked what I was writing, this is what it was
- Removed from humanity, I realized I was just another distraction
- I was into them after they were hip
- God was created in man's image
- What would aliens think of us if Everything was all they had?
- Kilroy was here
- wa
- Able was I, ere I saw Elba
- The Walrus was Paul
- This wasn't how it was supposed to be
- Climbing cherry trees when I was younger
- What I wrote when I was missing David
- No shit, there I was
- 'T was
- This was unexpected, my soul's connection to you
- "Oskee wee wee! Oskee wa wa!"
- the seven hills of Rome
- That was a joke, son.
- There was once a Man
- When I was your age
- I was once a victim of Catholic schooling
- Fast-talking career gal who thought she was one of the boys
- I was discovered by scientists, what will they call me?
- That time I was almost killed by scary cult children
- If Dr. Seuss Were a Tech Writer
- Was (Not Was)
- Cybersex before it was cool
- Marilyn Monroe was a size 16
- You knew I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up
- Was not cleanly unmounted, check forced
- Where were you when Kennedy was shot?
- Just how perfect was Jesus?
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