Though I've lived in
college towns where the fraternities and sororities worked extremely well and behaved in fairly non-
stereotypical ways, I've also been able to compile some
funny stories about at least one Evil Frat... Pull up a chair, young 'uns, whilst I spins y'all a yarn...
A few years ago, I attended
college at the
University of North Texas in
Denton. It's a decent school, but the
fraternity and
sorority system is fairly out-of-control -- they have way too many
Greek organizations under
probation because they can't seem to stop
hazing pledges (including a sorority that got busted three years in a row 'cause they thought it was their
sacred duty to get freshman girls
drunk). But the goofiest frat was the
Kappa Alpha fraternity...
They were, basically, a bunch of
rich white high school boys who'd made it to college without any real
brain power or
maturity. They were
racists and
bullies and they thought they owned the campus. More than once, they singled out some lone student somewhere for
harrassment of one sort or another, only to discover that they were related to the university chancelor, or were married to a cop, or weren't at all shy about filing official
complaints, or weren't actually alone, what with their
half-dozen lead-pipe-totin' buddies walking up behind them...
So here's the funny stories: First, two friends of mine -- Swampy and Elliotte -- cornered a couple of Kappas in public and asked 'em why the frat was so
prejudiced. The immediate response: "We're not prejudiced! We've got a
Mexican!" Swampy and Elliotte went rolling on the floor laughing at 'em, and for the rest of the year, they'd holler "
We're not prejudiced! We've got a Mexican!" anytime there was a lull in a conversation.
Not long afterwards, we found one of the Kappa Alpha
pledge books that someone had lost. This pledge book was mainly a way for the
pledges to get to know each other -- they had to list their name, major, hometown, favorite movie, favorite food, etc. -- just like a
junior high slam book. Anyway, under "
Pet Peeves," every single pledge but one wrote "
N-Words" (uncensored in the actual pledge book, of course). The lone
dissenter wrote "
Intolerance," no doubt permanently disqualifying himself from Kappa Alpha membership.
And finally, around January 2001, a bunch of Kappas confronted some prospective students who happened to be
black -- in
broad daylight, in public, with numerous witnesses, and even wearing their official frat T-shirts -- and shouted
racial epithets, waved
Confederate flags, and generally behaved like a junior chapter of the
Klan. If they thought this would be overlooked, they were magnificently mistaken. The university hit the fraternity with a five-year probation, the
student body gleefully jeered them off campus, and even the national Kappa Alpha organization told the morons to get bent.
Every once in a while, it's nice to see the
Bad Guys get
spanked...