I like the feeling of tears in my eyes and it doesn't always mean I am
sad. I wipe them off when people are near to avoid their misguided
pity. Babies make me smile because they don't understand suffering yet.
I appreciate the sounds of my neighbors having sex as long as they
don't last too long. I often hesitate to talk to strangers because I
think they are afraid of me. Sometimes I feel like the Hunchback of
Notre Dame. Other times I feel like Tinkerbell. When I look into your
eyes I see stars, so long as you aren't cross-eyed. I have never picked
up a woman at a bar, club, gym, bookstore or public transit. I can
appreciate watching lonely men gaze at women in violent appreciation.
One of my favorite things is watching elderly or disabled people make
out. I love the idea of bouncy balls. I don't know what I am supposed
to be doing. I think heaven is like being a rainbow. Sometimes I look
at clouds and think about gods and cotton and then I remember they are
really like a cold floating sauna. I do not intuitively understand why
clouds look like they do, that if I leave my cup of water outside it
will eventually become part of that cloud. At times I judge women for
both wearing makeup and not wearing makeup. I wish I had cravings for
food that are actually healthy for me. I keep forgetting how to be my
own muse. I don't think peeps are really edible. The things that make
me happy keep changing. When people don't make eye contact with me I
feel like I don't exist. Laughing is my favorite thing to do and I
don't believe tickling laughter is sincere. I wonder if those evil
comic book villains that laugh all the time are happier than me. I like
the smell of fresh flowers but not potpourri. There is nothing evil
about puppies and flowers. Sometimes I practice karate in my sleep. I
get great joy from removing dryer lint. I wish humans were striped like
a zebra. Every time someone lights a cigarette I think about eternity
and every time I see a wristwatch I think about my cell phone. I will
never know what you really think about me.