| In everyday conversations about their living spaces, people don't need to talk about their town. If someone's giving directions to a friend who wants to drive over for a visit, he will simply tell the guest about the highway exit he needs to get off on. Of course, directions for streets to take after the highway, along with various markers along the way such as gas stations and grocery stores, will also be given.
But suppose their friend wanted to know more about the town? What would the resident have to say about it? Possibly nothing more than the already given highway location. That's because it's quite likely that the resident has little to no interaction with the town's community.
Of course, that might sound incredulous. Doesn't that person shop, go to the gym, work in town, frequent its bars, go to vote in the city hall, know his neighbors? All of these things might possibly connect a resident with the life of his town, but in many cases they don't.
For one thing, a person might live on an edge of his town that's close to a neighboring town. For that reason, he might shop and join the gym in the neighboring town. Also, if the resident lives near a highway, it might be closer for him to do shopping in lots of different towns that are off the highway rather than in his own. Or maybe getting somewhere via the highway is simply easier for some people.
The times I made plans with my friends to go out for dinner, I've noticed that they were reluctant to get out their maps and figure out the directions to something in town. They would on the other hand be very happy to find out a restaurant was off a certain highway exit because that would save them time turning and twisting their cars through local streets.
The stores on the highway don't attract just because it's easier to get to them. Often, they are just better than the local stores. The choices of shopping that are provided by the highway will likely lure a resident away from the local places towards further ones that might have lower prices or more selection. And you'll see at your own eyes, if you go down to a mall and ask people where they are from. Most have driven up from out of town
Also, what must be understood is that today's organization of suburban space makes doing your daily business within the bounds of your local town impossible. You can't do all of your shopping within the town lines because mall developers who know that most people drive will place their strip malls in a central location off the highway to attract people from the whole vicinity. That means that there might not even be places to shop, or at least very few of them, within a person's hometown. And that's very likely, considering how small mom and pop stores on town premises won't be able to compete with the prices of big-box retailers.
My town has both car parts and hardware but when my family needs either of the two, they go to the big warehouse a couple of towns over. They've gone to the local smaller store but found that it tended to not have the things they needed and rather than get a special order, they drive over to the bigger store where they can find what they need all the time.
So whether you are looking to purchase groceries, carpets, sweaters, or to dine out or see a movie, you are likely do this out of town.
This disconnect between people's town of residence and the places where they conduct the business of their daily lives is a relatively recent phenomenon in history. In earlier times, the town where you lived was relevant to your identity. People shopped at local stores and so did their neighbors and relatives. Likewise, the local landscape also had personal meaning - the parks, the woods, the trails were places whose nooks and crannies etched themselves into a person's memory.
It is different today - people drive far away to do their camping, their skiing and neglect the natural habitats nearby. One can't blame them for this, either. Town life has made it prohibitive to meander in the local woods, park, or a lake. The natural habitats have become victims of suburbanization.
The problem? The combination of highway access and low density neighborhoods breeds crime. This means that if you want to take your significant other or even kids on a walk through the local hiking path, you'll probably be the only people there at the time. This isn't the city and you've only got under a 100 people in your neighborhood not thousands; so the possibility that one of them will choose to walk on your local trail at the same time that you do is slim.
But since this place is highway accessible, there's a good chance that one of the hundred thousands people living off the highway might drive down to walk by your little path. And it might not be wise to take the chance of confronting a stranger in the woods when there is no one else but him and you. The presence of many people on a scene discourages criminal activity but your solitude doesn't. Even if you have a friend or two with you, a person with a weapon might still be able to get away with doing harm to all of you. Thus, no wonder that a resident of a town might not want to spend a lot time in local nature sites. He'd feel much safer getting on the highway and visiting a large faraway park that's frequented by many people.
I was at a nearby local reservation with my family on a Saturday. You'd think since this was a weekend there'd be lots of people taking a walk there. But in the space of three hours that we were there, we only saw two other people. Since being alone in that space is kinda frightening, we choose not to go there and drive out of town for an ocean-side boardwalk instead.
(Incidentally, I could bring up some cases of how lonesome nature sites have been the source of many kidnappings and murders but this node is long enough without that)
I hope that I've got across the point that what causes people to live the kind of life that disconnects them from their local town is not their own fault. Low density residential neighborhoods don't house the shopping centers, movie theaters, and sports facilities where people spend their time. For that reason, people's everyday life naturally draws them away from their town away to other places.
Thus it is only natural, when these people, when asked where they live, respond with a set of directions but don't feel inclined to talk about their town. In their mind, their house only has a physical location but no connection with a community.
Disclaimer: This description of a way people have no involvement with their towns is a worst case scenario. There are some people who do become intimately familar with their town by choosing to conduct their daily business, shopping and recreation, within its confines. This is especially true for parents who take an interest in their children's school life and get to know the other schoolchildren and their parents in town.
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