A transformation of the famous
Murphy's Laws to a setting easily recognized by
DJs and
club kids alike.
§1. If a
pickup can jump, it will.
§2. A monitor won't.
§3. The number of
DJ groupies available are NOT proportional to the average R of your
12" records.
§4. Fixed playing schedules aren't.
§5. The main attraction of the line-up will leave early, or arrive late.
§6. Noone cares about §5, since he always tears the roof off of the place anyway.
§7. The product of R and C is inversed proportionally to A. (
Snickars' Law of Rarity)
§8. The number of DJ mixers > The number of earphones > The number of small-to-large-DIN-plug adapters. (Lif's General Number Assumption)
§9. As P goes towards infinity, C goes towards zero. (
Greiff's Law of Credibility)
§10. The size of the DJ booth is always one half of the size needed for all the stuff people try to "leave there for a minute".
R =
Rarability of the record
C =
Credibility of the
DJ/record
A =
Availability of the record
P =
Playability of the record