There is a
satellite, charging
cyclically forward through a happy,
blue sky. Within this satellite, blasting around our
Earth, are several items.
The
first of those items is an
infinite amount of
propellant--rocket fuel which is as
light as air and burns at 100%
efficiency. Because of this, the satellite will continue to stay in
low Earth orbit until the
end of time.
Also on this
spacecraft is a
hull made of a
Durasteel alloy with a
Cortosis Weave. This makes the satellite
light as a feather, and also greatly improves its
fortifications, making it
invulnerable to all attacks of any nature, even
lightsabres. This will ensure that we can't
shoot it down, no matter how big our weapons are.
Inside of this glittering
shuttle, deep in the hold, is a
food synthesizer. It takes
hydrogen gas from our
exosphere, converts it into tasty, nutritious food, and is powered
eternally by the same energy source which makes the satellite
circumvolve forever.
Because this is a very sophisticated
hurtling death sphere, there are highly advanced computers. In fact, the machines are so
futuristic and complex that they have the power to affect people standing on the ground, underneath its
geostationary orbit with no
detectable means to do so. One of the more
utile functions of this advanced system is a big, red button. And on this button, in large, bold, white letters is the clause as follows:
FUCK
BLINKLZ
The last thing worth mentioning on this
flying kitchen juggernaut is the presence of an extremely simple
chimpanzee. This creature is warm, safe, and
wired-in to the advanced computer system with
electrodes directly implanted into certain areas of his brain. This makes sure that, when hungry, the food synthesizer will spit out something
nutritious. The computer also adjusts
environmental conditions of the
space bubble to meet the chimp's needs.
However, the very most important
bell or whistle in this entire
marvel of
FutureTech is that red button mentioned previously. Apparently, this button does not only what is claimed to happen when
depressed, but it also sends an electric pulse into the sexual reception portions of the poor monkey's
feeble brain. Unfortunately for
blinklz, the chimpanzee has realized this and presses the button roughly 200 times each hour. It would also seem that this
primate doesn't care about my sorrow, and shows no signs of stopping within the forseeable future--assuming, of course, that the future will always keep going, even beyond the
end of the world.
So, it could have been because
all property is owned by force or threat of force. It could have been because
McDonalds makes money by McRaping your pockets. Such is not the case.
This is the reason I feel so God damned
disenfranchised. And now you know.