Asking someone how much they pay for a cup of coffee at their local Starbucks probably seems
like an innocent question just like offering someone a slice of pizza
seems like a nice gesture. The problem is you aren't like anyone else
and other people often don't understand your perspective or where you
are coming from. Where I live food represents more than just something
to stave off hunger. In Wisconsin, food is used in social settings to
bring people together. When I have parties no matter how many chairs
there are in the dining room, living room or family room, people
congregate in the kitchen around whatever egg, gluten, dairy, soy free
food I've set out.
When parties are not at my house I want to be a part of the fun and
partake of the food and drinks being offered but if that means
compromising my health and safety I have to stay away. People around me
handle this in one of several ways. Some people, the cool ones, realize
that I have a medical condition and tell me that if there is something
else they could do for me I should let them know. Other people go way
overboard as if the pepperoni pizza in front of them is going to come to
life and attack me. Even if it did I would probably be okay since I'd
have to actually eat the pizza for it to do any damage.
Most of the time people are kind and understanding however there are
those few who make life difficult. They ask questions like: "Are you
allergic to everything?" Or: "Why'd you even come here if you can't eat
anything?" Most of the time the best way to handle these questions is to
ignore them if possible. I don't know how anyone else feels but I did
not grow up having a very restricted diet. I was allergic to nuts and
shellfish however my family rarely ate out and when we did no one
ordered lobster or crab since my family couldn't afford those items.
I grew up eating pretty much whatever I wanted and as soon as I was
old enough to make my own money I started buying food that I liked. My
mother didn't really teach me to cook but she let me experiment in the
kitchen. When I was in third grade I bought a Peanuts cookbook for
children and started making recipes out of that. After messing my
mother's kitchen up numerous times and wasting ingredients I eventually
learned a few things about time, temperature and chemistry. My mother put
me in charge of cooking breakfast for my siblings so I've been making
things like pancakes and eggs for longer than some of you have been
alive.
A blogger I follow states that you have to retain your sense of humor
if you are one of the unfortunate people who has to deal with food
allergies. No one wants to have them however rebelling against your own
body is futile and could possibly be fatal. A woman I know has a friend
with a shellfish allergy who loves crab legs. She uses her Epi-Pen, eats
and apparently is fine. I carry a twin pack of epinephrine because
sometimes one isn't enough and there's always the risk of a problem with
injecting the medication since anaphylactic shock can come on seconds
after exposure or ingestion.
This past April someone I work with called 911 after I had an
allergic reaction. I still have no idea what triggered it but I had to
have my former supervisor carry me out to the cafeteria since I couldn't
walk. I had blood running down my leg, my hands were shaking so badly I
couldn't manage to pull up my pants and it was really embarrassing to
have people tell me that I was laying on the floor shivering because
people were afraid to touch me. Now I lived to tell about that
experience but it scared me and everyone I was with. Management was nice
about it, I thought I had to come into work the next day but as I
learned I should have stayed at home. After lying on the couch for over
an hour I had to have the woman who runs our compression hosiery
department walk me to the bathroom since my blood pressure was so low
people thought I was going to pass out.
I've been sick at parties, at nodermeetings, on my trip back from California I threw up numerous
times and narrowly avoided a trip to the nearest urgent care center in
Las Vegas. When I was younger I used to be angry and bitter about many
things. Through the years I've grown out of some of that however I get
tired of holding my tongue when people are rude or inconsiderate and I'm
expected to keep the peace when people are hassling me. My aunt has a
saying about things being true and necessary. You should say things to
people only if they are true and if whatever you plan on saying is
needed which is where the title of this comes into play. Assholes are a
part of life. Most of the time ignoring or avoiding them is your best
bet but there are times when it feels really good to call someone out
and put them on the spot by calmly stating: "No thank you, I can't have that."