Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "people who spill their guts on the Internet, but can't talk to a friend about simple problems"

• What people talk about when they can't think of anything to talk about
• People who carp about their jobs
• Men who are willing to listen to women talk about their periods
• Wandering about with keys dangling from an oversized shoelace around your neck
• People who don't capitalize their I's
• Who cares about a bunch of people in Austria
• I a man sad, with a linux box, a slow internet connection and friends who can not see the love in me bursting to get out.
• Inability to decide on what your morals and values should be
• Capitalize, please
• How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus?
• What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
• Having an S on a transcript rather than a B
• people got a lot of ideas about who i am
• Expecting your wedding to be the happiest day of your life
• Gods exist but will only talk to those who stay awake after bedtime under the covers.
• Pirates and ninjas: why they should be friends but can't be
• Lincoln advises a friend who is nervous about marriage, January 30, 1842
• Supporting your views on modern social dynamics by citing anthropology
• some people touch it, but they can't hold on
• The friend who knows a lot about computers
• sometimes i wonder about people who snap at strangers
• People who get worked up about misspelling Colombia
• there are people who are gone but wanted me to be happy
• Know your pets
• What do girls think about guys who think about what other people think about girls and what they do?
• Butterflies are passive aggressive and put their problems on the shelf, but they're beautiful
• Of course they want to come here. Who doesn't? Besides the people from Los Angeles, but we don't speak of them.
• People tell us who they are, but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
• The problem with people who think life is inexpressibly beautiful is that they so often try to express it anyway
• Reading ahead in comic calendars
• Flaunting your sexuality
• Just so we’re all clear, it is okay to miss people who no longer want you in their lives
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• Dead links in writeups
• When you can't talk about what your sexual needs are
• The bored who complain
• Dogs are for wimps who don't have the guts to bite people themselves
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• Thinking you know more about computers than the tech you just called
• Snatched away, like the Lindberg baby, who everyone talked about, which explains my lifelong fear of ladders.
• Find someone who dreams about people like you
• If you complain about the content of the news, you are deluded about its purpose
• You say "the internet" but you mean "the world wide web"
• On reading letters that bitch about scantily-clad models on magazine covers
• Things people put up their butts
• We all love movies and books about us owning ourselves
• But who nodes the noders?
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
• Let's Talk About Feelings
• Maybe it's bad manners, but you still can't buy my baby
• most people don't know what they're talking about anyway
• Talk to your dermatologist about...
• I can't get published, but this crap can
• Friends and lovers, but sometimes just lovers
• you can't change the world, but you can change the facts
• We completely understand the public's concern about futuristic robots feeding on the human population, but that is not our mission.
• A man who is about to become a wizard is a great source of trouble
• The virgin was looking apprehensive about the whole ordeal, but for the right amount of cash anyone will take on a horse
• It's hard to be enthusiastic about music with someone who physically sneered at Hamilton
• Dystopic Boundaries - a study in whining about first-world problems
• Can We Talk About This?
• I will have her forever but I can't touch her
• It's like this train. It can't run anywhere but where its rails take it.
• I'm not a dyke just 'cause I shaved my head, but if it keeps certain people away, fuckin' A right on
• Susan Goldman, who has cervical cancer, is partly thankful as she braces herself but changes her mind as she's sprayed with burning jet fuel.
• i remember reading this but i can't remember if i liked it or not
• It's too bad she won't live. But then again, who does?
• I'm sorry, but we can't watch the rest of MacBeth until it is censored
• The Lord of the Rings 1/2: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Middle-earth But Were Afraid to Produce
• What I talk about when I talk about running
• George Bush doesn't care about black people
• Fifteen words about butt kicking
• he looks a little like you... so i would rather talk about other pretty girls
• In this moment I'm focused on my own emotions. I don't care about how you feel. I can't.
• The thing to understand about trans people
• What can a reed do but sway about and love?
• This story about a misanthropist is not about who you think it is about
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• If you can't help it, fuck it!
• You are nothing but the sum of your friends
• Money can't buy happiness but the lack of it can cause a lot of misery
• You can run, but you can't hide
• It did not but, I think.. it will spill hope
• When you can almost recognize her face, but you can't remember her name
• you never felt her hot blood on your face but, hey, who's keeping track
• Cemeteries are boring, but I can't seem to stay away from this one in particular.
• I call, but I never talk. I knock, but I never enter. I feel a bit insecure.
• My 486 almost runs Debian now, but I can't play Doom!
• Everything you ever wanted to know about theatre tech, but were afraid to ask
• We don't talk about those sorts of things
• The music in my head is too loud to think about anything but you
• I know it's boring to go on about it, it bores me to sleep, but what the hell, why doesn't it fade
• I always liked the breasts that talked about existentialism.
• I still can't think of anything about Fight Club that changed my life
• A lie only hurts when it's told by people you care about
• Who i think about when i dont want to smile
• Sorry about my friend
• there must be something positive about this; I just can't think of it at the moment
• For someone who writes about love as much as I, writing about it when it's real sure is hard.
• I don't know about that fellow Rand, but I'd never trust a McNally.
• There were a few moments you will not hear about, but they happened
• people are lazy about explanations so they make rules
• For when you and your shiftless friends are thinking about seeing a movie
• i like it when we talk about the deep stuff
• we are built to hold on, but the world is about letting go
• We talk about the importance of a good handshake.
• their eyes meet for the first time, but they saw each other's hearts
• They try to be quiet but you know they are there with their weird coppery breath.
• This one goes out to you - not so much the people in the audience, but more the people in my mind
• You sad cookie, you CARE more about filthy rich pretty people you'll never meet
• Can't nothin' fail but a try
• I note that she is pretty, but we are off into the city, my werewolf friend and I
• Boston sports fans and their teams: A brief but angsty perspective
• We enjoy a quiet but satisfying yuletide until people from the social services come to release us
• I'm at the station, but I can't get on the train
• Don't talk about your mamma like that
• You can take the mall out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the mall
• Music that is either by the Sonic Youth or by some band that is ripping off the Sonic Youth, but you can't tell which
• you can lower your standards, or your pants, but you can't make them love you
• What We Talk about When We Talk About Love
• But you can't take the Jungle out of the Tiger
• A person is smart, but people are dumb, panicky animals
• Men are designed to be good hunters, but it's women who are born killers
• For every rich man who tries to leave this world for a better one with his fancy tomb surrounded by mourners, there are many more who perish alone in the cold, forgotten by all but God.
• I bind these books, but I can't write in them; I just can't
• Can't imagine why, but I feel like dancing
• Once and somewhere far away I might have found peace, but now I can't live without this city.
• The fire behind their eyes died slowly and silently until nothing but the shells remained
• Your heart may be broken, but the world still rotates my dear friend
• The Princess Who Kicked Butt
• Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever
• I can't get a girlfriend but my dog has a harem
• General sexuality newsgroup
• How to drive a friend mad, and still feel good about yourself
• Things a Computer Scientist Rarely Talks About
• Everyone Thinks the Best about Their Own Children
• Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask)
• You can tell a lot about a person from their e-mail address
• A poem about my tragic friend
• Talk about the weather
• It's too early to talk about God, or women
• Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
• the morning snowdrops fall like dew in the sunlight and fill my heart with their icy cold and all i can think about is you
• A joke about dealing with people
• I knew about the kissing problem before I said Yes.
• Let's talk about the end of the world as we know it
• Somewhere there is a syphilitic prostitute who is going to tell me about India
• So why talk about politics now
• what we talk about when we talk about Punk
• Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody
• Talk About the Passion
• When's the last time you cared about Lenny Kravitz? A) 1991 B) never C) Who?
• At what age should you talk to your kids about drugs?
• You can complain about athlete salaries all you want, but my voicemail is still empty.
• When to talk about religion
• I wish I cared about the things you cared about but I don't.
• i dream about the ones who are gone
• the world's big enough, but how about your mind?
• I can't even begin to tell you how I feel about certain things for reasons that you may find difficult to understand
• The guy who may as well already be dead and therefore doesn't care about the consequences of his actions and is able to move with perfect freedom for the remainder of what will likely be a tragically short life
• But What About the Property Damage?
• small intimate talk about nothing
• I don't know why but I always love episodes without words. like just something about them makes me feel calm or something..
• what's the point of having other peoples' thoughts about something?
• Populism doesn't care about people, just about The People
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• The Umbrella Academy is about damaged people
• There's nothing more annoying than to try to rebel against someone who's totally supportive about whatever you want to do
• Game Jams but about words (e2poll)
• he knew that victory is not about who is standing after the fight
• Your radical ideas about many things have already occurred to others but have never been articulated in a fashion so accessible to current generations
• I don't know who Amber is, but she's got a stalker
• I had names for all of those places, but I can't remember them
• Talking like a pirate is fun but annoys people
• I can't remember when I fell but I love it down here
• You can bear arms, but you can't bare breasts
• Friends and lovers, but sometimes just friends
• But who codes the coders?

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