user since
Sat May 10 2003 at 06:31:04 (21 years ago )
last seen
Mon Jul 5 2004 at 16:43:32 (19.8 years ago )
number of write-ups
3 - View apocryphal's writeups (feed)
level / experience
0 (Initiate) / 14
mission drive within everything
...to find the elusive Vitamin X
specialties
I can reach the top shelves in grocery stores. Take that, short-stuff.
motto
If you gotta invade Siberia, do it in the Summer.
most recent writeup
May 18, 2003
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As you may well be aware, I'm new to the system here. I've got stuff to
learn, and I want to learn it as quickly as I can.  That being said, if
you have any  wisdom that you would be willing to impart to me, I would
take it with absolute graciousness.   Someday I want to be able to look
down upon my two adopted children and say, "yes, I was a member in good
standing at E2 before it took over the world." I would turn my head and
face the camera on the wall and crack my neck  with a pained look on my
face. The children would look at me with admiration in their eyes. Then
they would send for the papers to commit me to a mental institution. It
is all planned, you see.  They are already out to get me, those kids of
mine.

I  once  had a  nightmare  that  the  English-speaking  world  decided
unanimously to change the phrase, "a lot" into a single word: alot. As
you can imagine, I was scarred for life because of this nightmare. Now
I  drink more  orange juice from a  sippy-cup  and drool  a little too
often. Well, that's what the system does to you these days.  They also
made me learn to type  in 70-character columns like this.  It makes me
very, very sad.