Captain Obvious (person) by fallensparks

Not just a witty and disparaging turn of phrase, Captain Obvious is a genuine superhero according to a popular article in the Uncyclopedia.

Together with his trusty sidekick, Readily Apparent Boy, he is frequently called upon to battle supervillains including Professor Subtle and Commander Vague. Professor Subtle remains at large, thanks to Captain Obvious' continuing failure to locate or apprehend him.

Not to be confused with his brother, Captain Oblivious, Captain Obvious' symbol is a large O which stands for Obvious. His alter-ego is widely believed to be journalist Mr. Obvious who inevitably mumbles an excuse and enters a phone booth or public restroom shortly before the emergence of Captain Obvious.

Once JPEG, always JPEG	You can tell a lot about a person from their e-mail address	Don't develop your dirty pictures at CVS	Wrapped in barbed wire and shot into the sun
Children's Television As Propaganda	"data" is plural	How to tell if a guy is circumcised from across the bar	Jesus did not speak English
it's expensive to be poor	Rejection isn't so bad	protectors of the obvious	open-minded female
Captain Sensible	High school racism, anyone?	Vegetarians taste better	Mick Foley
A Cutthroat Industry	Non sequitur	Uncyclopedia	That small town feeling
March 12, 2003	Real women, not models, belong in magazines	All things being equal	All of your ideas have already occurred to others. Please stop bothering to think. You are selfishly wasting energy and oxygen.

Captain Obvious (person)

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Captain_obvious